Shiny Happy Deafie

OK so I was 30 last year, which means this year I will officially become Over 30.

Over 30?! Blimey.

I suppose that's not too bad really cos most of my mates are also Officially Over 30, and some of them are even Officially Over 40 or 50, so I can't complain toooooo much..!

You do notice things when you get old though, like being all stiff and slow in the morning, or like my Mate Without A Name showed me on webcam today, you get liver spots on your hands. No, I don't have any, but she did, and was "very upset". She was so upset that she has developed a kind of fascination with it, staring at it and all it represents - AGE!

Meanwhile, I'm busy being fascinated by the fact that my hair (with bits of grey, yes) has now grown long enough to tie back. I have a ponytail!!!!!!!!!!

I so can't believe I have a ponytail!!!!!

And I bet you can't either!

I'm still scary inside though ;o)

Posted by j at 06:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

While I was eating some cashew nuts just now, I noticed that whoever made the label on the packet had probably never seen a nut before. Why? Because it said:

"ALLERGEN INFORMATION
This Product Contains: NUTS"

Er, I know that... that's why I bought them!?

The mind boggles.

Posted by j at 01:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I think I am slowly turning into a geek. I didn't actually mean to, and now I think about it, I don't really know how I became one. What I DO know, however, is that IT'S ALL A'S FAULT.

Sigh. Well there are worse things to be than geeks, and I have to admit it's quite useful to know techy things, even if you don't really understand them. Like yesterday, for example, when A was teaching me how to use FTP (I forgot what that means, but I know what it is... sort of).

A: *Geek language* "Put a tick in the box in the right hand column and then click 'yes' and then upload a file."

Me: "OK, I did the thing, and now the thing is spinning round and the other thing has stopped. What do I do now?"

(Yes we do talk like that, it's how geeks and learner geeks talk.) The weird thing is, we understand each other. Hell, we even have whole conversations!

Well, I now own some webspace, a few websites and I can upload files to servers (well, I think I can anyway). That's good innit? And I'm looking forward to the launch of GOD, but we can't do it yet cos there's something wrong with the thing so the other thing won't work. Whatever!

Watch this space! Things will happen! ;o)

Posted by j at 08:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Well, MERRY CHRISTMAS everybody!

And yes I know it is really sad and geeky and whatever to be writing a blog on Christmas Day, but do you know what? I DON'T CARE! Ha. And I have had a wee bit too much to drink already and it's only 3.30pm. Well hasn't everyone? If you haven't, GO AND DO IT NOW.

Anyway this is meant to be a speech so I should probably be typing serious things about how crap it is that there's still a war in Iraq and all that (well, it is) and Tony Blair should resign in 2006 (well, he should have done it already), but I really can't be bothered.

Maybe I am getting old, but I know it in my bones that 2006 gonna be a good year. Just trust me on this one ;o)

I am quite sure my Toxic Waste Neighbours will start to recycle. Also, the RNId will go bankrupt. EBay will become less addictive. And there will be less reasons in general for me to be Annoyed All The Time. Or maybe it's just the beer?

As well as all that, I got a remote controlled car for xmas to annoy the dog with - at the moment, he just stares at it suspiciously - so nothing can really go wrong!

God I am really starting to bore myself now so I will go downstairs and get some more beer. But, I would like to leave you all with a picture of a traditional British Christmas icon that everyone loves to hate (except C, who loves to love)...

... yes, the humble brussels sprout. Enjoy!

Posted by j at 03:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

...For she is bored and needs links. So what can bored people do?

* Find your celebrity twin (thanks to H for this one!)
* Book your place at the 2007 WFD Congress
* Bother your MP
* Fly across the earth (warning: this is meant to make you feel sick!)
* OR MAYBE DO SOME WORK!?

Posted by j at 05:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

Eek, the purple monster is coming...

And now it has eaten me...

Well, I hope all those who should feel bad DO feel bad. You know who you are. Ha!

Posted by j at 12:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Sometimes it's really cool working at home, cos it means you have the peace and space to do what you want, like play with your brand new webcam or do your xmas shopping online, or wind up the dog or whatever.

And sometimes it's not cool, like when you're meant to be doing really boring things like admin, or working out your wages so that your accountant can tell you how much tax to pay, but you really, really can't be bothered, and there's nobody to tell you to get a move on and just get it out of the way, so you keep delaying the boring bits by doing random things like Building a Better Bush or writing a stupid, irrelevant blog.

And when you finish writing your stupid, irrelevant blog, a huge, huge purple monster with massive teeth and an angry face comes out of the sky and yells at you:

"FOR GOD'S SAKE, JENNIFER, JUST GET THAT TAX RETURN OUT OF THE WAY! NOW!"

Posted by j at 01:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I was right... nothing wrong with my teeth :-D so there is nothing to say about the dentist, who just smiled a lot and said "very good." The hygenist was another story - she did the brushy scrapy filey thing (as usual) and I shouted "I PROMISE TO FLOSS!" in the middle of it (as usual) etc.

When she had finished, she said "This is not your favourite place, is it?"

"No." I replied. She smiled to herself.

"Do you like your job?" I asked, suddenly wondering how someone could actually like doing brushy scrapy filey things to other people's mouths all day.

"Oh!" she looked a bit embarrassed. "Oh. Yes, I do actually... I've been doing this job for 19 years!"

Me: :-O "19 years?! Blimey."

Her: "Yes. I deserve a medal, don't I?!"

Too right!!

Posted by j at 04:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

... Today, not only am I off work sick (although am getting better), but I also have to go to the dentist.

This news should please those of you who seem to enjoy reading about my unfortunate incidents (the Garage Door Story seems to be the most popular blog I have posted, except for the photo of Harry). Funny to think how my friends and family members like reading about me escaping death. Wonder what would happen if I didn't escape?! Well, I couldn't blog for a start ;)

However, I am sorry to tell you that One Of Those Stories is not going to be written later on. For a start, my dentist is very nice, and so is the hygenist. Also, there's nothing wrong with my teeth. So there!

Errr..... TOUCH WOOD.

Posted by j at 01:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Strange as it may seem, many Deafies will nod their heads and laugh evilly if you ask them if they've ever heard about hearing aids being thrown out of windows. In fact, there's a famous story about how Deaf school-leavers from one particular school often open the train windows on their way home and chuck their hearing aids out onto the tracks. Well I can't say I blame them...

When I left school, I was desperate to get rid of my hearing aid but didn't want to throw it out of the window, and didn't really know what else to do with it (wear it?! no way!). So I took it to the audiologist and told her I didn't want it any more. She was shocked: "Oh, you won't be able to manage without it!"... "You will need it to go shopping." ... "You will need it to ..."... etc...!

I tried explaining it didn't WORK because I am Deaf, which means I CANNOT HEAR, but she wasn't having any of it. I then changed my plan and said I wanted to give it to Deaf children from poor countries who couldn't afford to buy their own. She looked at me as if I had just said I had Found Religion. "Oh Jennifer, are you sure? That is so kind of you!"

"Yeh whatever," I mumbled, as I dropped the hearing aid on her table and left. "It's kind of like recycling..."

PS: Thanks to those of you who have asked how I am after the garage door "incident". I am fine thank you, and so is the door!

Posted by j at 05:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Well here I am in blogland, much thanks to A and R for helping me to get set up! I hereby promise to TRY to blog at least once a week, mainly to stop A nagging me and whatever.

In the meantime, here's something to laugh at ... :-D

Posted by j at 07:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)