Much gingerness
This evening, Brian decided to move in, for reasons known only to himself. He is showing no desire to leave. Kind of like a sit-in. And yes, Harrythecat looks furious. Mind you, Harrythecat's default expression is furious.
Oh dear.
April 23, 2008
April 4, 2008
A snapshot
The Dog, being the territorial creature he is, defended The Office doorway stubbornly. No was was he going to let The Cat in. In fact, The Cat could disappear forevermore, for all he cared; such an annoying animal it was. And anyway, The Dog felt strongly that The Office was his, because The People in it were to be defended at all times, including from The Cat.
Especially The Cat.
So there he stood, guarding the doorway to The Office and its inhabitants, growling softly. And there he stayed, until one of The People told him to stop being a horrible bully and leave The Cat alone.
And The Cat celebrated - as usual - by stalking annoyingly past The Dog and settling down for another day on The Dog's bed.
The Dog gave up. Again.
February 15, 2008
Just to annoy Joe.
This is an example of typical office life a la Team H@Do*:
He seems to be fixated by my desktop wallpaper, which is this fantastic photo of C doing a snow angel (you're never too old!) a couple of weeks ago**:
Oh, the wonders of modern catology.
* Feel free to visit our most excellent website. No, this is not a shameless advertising ploy. We do do free stuff too!
** Note to self: SORT OUT FLICKR! SOON!
February 12, 2008
Even more catvice, please?
Yes, I know another cat-related post. I'm sad like that. But mostly, I'm too tired to finish off my next post about Geocaching and stuff, so this is a lot easier (and by mentioning it now, I HAVE to finish it).
So anyway, this is an appeal for more wise words from my cat fan friends.
Now that we're apparently "proper cat owners" according to A The Mad Cat Lady, we've started feeding another cat. C has decided that he should be called Brian - he's almost definitely a boy because he's ginger - and he's really, really shy. Bless. He's also really, really hungry, definitely the biggest cat eater we've ever seen, and practically wolfs down bowl after bowl of food as if he's a dog, which is kind of worrying but what can we do?
Anyway that wasn't the question. My question is a bit weird: How do you know if cats like each other or not?
I ask because Harrythecat is rarely seen with Pussy, and if he does see her, he doesn't look very happy at all. However, he and Brian like to have staring competitions, which I didn't think was meant to be good, AND they like sitting together in front of the house; a mildly amusing image of much gingerness, which I thought was... good?
So what does that mean? Harrythecat always seems to sit higher up than Brian, which might mean that he's the dominant one? Or maybe it's all part of the mind games masterplan, and, as C says, Harrythecat has sent Brian round to milk us for all we're worth because he's worked out that we're soft and I'm a bit neurotic and also quite stupid because I let him sit on my arms while I'm typing, which sometimes really hurts, like he's doing now.
... or maybe it means nothing at all?
And I know I need to get out more, but I need to know!
February 7, 2008
Co-working
Having animal co-workers is great!
When Harrythecat isn't sitting on my mobile phone or my diary, he is trying to pin my arms down so that I can't type, or can only move the mouse a bit. C thinks I should turf him off, but he is honestly too cute. He's also quite funny. Just now, when I banned him from walking over my arm for the 5th time this afternoon, he shot me a positively horrified look, stalked over the desk to his princess cushion (oh, yes!) and sat glowering with his back to me for several minutes. Priceless.
And Harrythedog? He only cares if there's food around... if not, he just kips. And farts. Not forgetting the farts! Oh, and after a particularly long day, he will stare at me crazily, barking urgently at intervals, until I shut down my computer and give in and take him for a walk ... a walk that we BOTH need.
The best thing about furry colleagues? They don't argue over whose turn it is to make coffee.
January 17, 2008
Hierarchy
January 16, 2008
The importance of small things
Hooray, I have finally uploaded my new header (if you can't see it, press SHIFT-REFRESH). While it is unimportant in the face of, er, important things, it was important to me in the name of Tidiness Of The Brain. Thanks must go to R for helping me to realise that ".JPG" should have been ".jpg" - a small but important detail.
ANYWAY. The image you see at the top of this page is of the very fine dry stone wall that is at the end of our back garden... while we don't own this wall, we are apparently 'in charge' of it, whatever that means. I guess we have to make sure it doesn't fall down or something, but there isn't much chance of that as it's as heavy as hell - much respect for the people who built it in the first place - so I'm not too worried.
I'm also less worried about Pussy now that our special new cat shelter arrived this morning (kind of from eBay, yes, T) and is in its rightful place outside. Is it weird to worry so much about a cat that you don't even know?! It's not as if I don't have anything else to worry about - believe me, I do - but anyway, it was important to me, especially as it's freezing here. I'd post a photo of the shelter, but it's really unexciting - kind of like a curved lump of "sandstone" coloured plastic with a hole in it - but as long as it does the job, that's OK with me.
So who'd have thought I'd be scouring the net for cat shelters?! I'm probably just going soft in my old age. Further evidence of this softness/old age is the fact that I am ALLOWING Harrythecat to stand menacingly on my lap as I type this, partially pinning my right arm to the desk and making it very difficult to type indeed. This is something I mercilessly wound A up about for years, before I too succumbed to The Control Of The Cat.
I have to go. He really won't let me type.
January 6, 2008
An open letter to the cat
Dear Mr Corbett
In view of today's events, I thought I would write to express my concerns. You need to understand that, as you have only ever ventured outside our house for about 10 minutes at a time, disappearing for FOUR AND A HALF hours without warning today was particularly traumatising for C and I.
While we know that you cats like to disappear outside for hours and hours on end, as it was your first time, we didn't know if you would remember where you lived, or if you would even want to come home (i.e. you had only pretended to like us thus far, and were waiting for an Escape Opportunity). That is what your constant mind games do to us. It is both unfair and unreasonable to expect us to live like this - as Dog People, we expect to be shown more loyalty and gratitude.
Furthermore, when you finally arrived home covered in oil, it would have been nice if you hadn't hissed at Mr Barker, who had kindly spent a couple of hours shut in the living room for YOU, just in case you returned.
As I am prone to neurosis and worrying, I would greatly appreciate it if, next time, you would take heed of the following suggestions:
- Please return to the building approximately once an hour, if only to let us know that you haven't been crushed by a car;
- If this isn't possible, please take a small, brightly coloured flag with you so that you can be seen while you are killing voles and mice at a distance.
- When you hear me shaking your Chicken Treats in the garden, please make yourself known - because it means I need proof that you are alive. When you have done so, you may resume killing whichever small, defenceless animals you were pursuing.*
* Do not, under any circumstances, bring these small, defenceless animals home, DEAD OR ALIVE.
(And, as an aside, I wonder why your new Favourite Place on the landing was selected, as it is rather draughty and gives the impression you wish to operate as a CCTV camera?)
Anyway, now that you have shown us what you are capable of, we will not worry ourselves unduly next time... if there is a next time.
Thanking you,
Your landlady
January 5, 2008
In pursuit of The Trivial.
Can anyone see a dry stone wall at the top of this blog? Let me know if you can, because I can't, and it's supposed to be there because it's my new header. Oh well - it's my own fault for being too lazy to go and get the external hard drive, plug it in and blahhhhhh *snips boring details*
So. Christmas is officially over. Our decorations are down, largely helped by Harry the cat, who (we suspect) knocked over our tree while we were out shopping the other day. This wouldn't have been quite so dramatic if a) the tree hadn't been 7 feet tall; b) it hadn't narrowly missed my new digital photo frame, C's new internet radio and our glass coffee table; and c) it hadn't happened on January 4th, which is the day that decorations are traditionally meant to come down. Spoooooky.
Herewith the dramatic evidence (*note the industrial-sized tin of Quality Street, brought by Ce, as it is an Essential Christmas Item. The tin no longer contains Quality Street. Hooray!):
Angel Number 1 landed flat on her face...
... while Angel Number 2 managed to stay upright, entangled in a mass of Christmas Tree Debris...
The cat rounded off his vandalism spree by throwing his bed halfway across the room and relocating to the dog's bed instead. Quite what was going through his mind, I don't know... maybe it was something to do with the fact that he's only just started to go outside, but it's too wet and cold to be fun, so he's sulking. Whatever.
In other news, me, C and Harry the dog - obviously - have bravely ignored my injured foot and managed to rack up about 10 miles' worth of canal towpath walking in the last couple of weeks. That's actually 20 miles if you consider how we do it on a there-and-back basis... only another 21 miles to Manchester (and a further 21 miles back). Hahahaha.
So anywayyyyyy I have to go and do more useful things, which means I need to make a pile of things to Freecycle because they are being replaced by new items, and because we now have millions of plates all over the place and C is trying patiently to do a jigsaw but there isn't room.
Ah, the trivial side of life. I like it!
January 1, 2008
Happy 2008!
2007 was a year in which Things Happened. I hope 2008 is a year in which More Things Happen. Good Things; to me and to you all. After all, as KR just said in a text which managed to wriggle through the jammed network and find its way to my phone:
We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day!Wise words indeed, KR.
... If the cat had a book, it would be a big, heavy spy novel, because everything is one huge conspiracy. He constantly unnerves me and C by stalking around suspiciously and staring at us through narrowed cat eyes, as if he is casing the joint and working out his new move in his 52-year masterplan. On the other hand, the dog's novel would be more like a comic; perhaps a Tom and Jerry-style one or something like that. He's easily pleased!
And my book? It's called To Be Continued...
December 30, 2007
Most accidents happen at home
OK so I accidently broke my must-try-to-blog-1x-week rule, partly because I was busy doing Christmas stuff like eating too much and crawling slowly up and down the M1 in Crazy Festive Traffic (no, I didn't drive) to visit me and C's families... and partly because I have developed a kind of post-work allergy to computers and become strangely drawn to tragic Christmas TV instead.
Wow, that was a long sentence. The last one was much shorter.
But anyway, it all went very well and was enjoyed in all the right places, I am pleased to report. (I hope the same was true for anyone who is reading this!) And now I'm left with a Christmas Belly, a pile of cool pressies including a digital photo frame *yay!*, a permanent, vague hangover and an injured foot.
Yeeees. So our plans to go walking in the new year are now under threat because my foot is black and blue and doesn't work properly. I COULD explain how this happened but I don't think I would manage to do it very well - it was one of those "you had to be there" experiences - but I CAN say it involved the cat sitting in the wrong place, thus giving me a fright and nearly sending me tumbling downstairs, saved only by my foot. And no, I wasn't at all drunk.
Oh yes, the cat was involved. I need say no more. Instead, I'm hobbling downstairs, taking my Christmas Belly with me for more fuel, resolving to fight my new-found computerphobia in 2008 and blog more. Or something.
December 19, 2007
Geek Cat
It's official: Mr Corbett is a geek.
Herewith more evidence...
He loves computers, and kindly sent me into a panic tonight by walking across the laptop and turning the Number Lock on, which took me 5 minutes to work out. So... his new Favourite Place is the space between two computers - one dead [I thank you again for your recommendation, Joe!], one alive - which is much better than the dog's bed...
...so much better, in fact, that he has to be dragged away from the desk in order to come downstairs and be sociable and watch TV with us all. Ring any bells?!
I wonder if this all has some kind of hidden meaning? Or maybe it just means that cats are weird.
December 14, 2007
Random festivities
First off, please admire our fine Christmas tree decor:
Will probably post a photo of it in its entirety - if anyone is remotely interested - when our angels are ready for the top. But they aren't yet. Instead, we have some groovy new LED lights, which make our living room look like a nightclub most of the time (only C knows how to switch on the 'peacefully glowing' setting).
HOWEVER, our neighbours are crazy for Christmas lights. Crazy, ker-azeeeee, indeed. We tried to get evidence, but taking photos from a moving car is not easy (I don't share C's view that it is perfectly normal and acceptable to walk down the street and stand in front of my neighbour's house with a camera, like some kind of paparazzi person)... however, I think this picture gives a pretty good idea of HOW crazy they are:
Yeees. Every single time I pass their house, my breath is taken away. Wow.
In other festive news, Ce has kindly elfed me and C, which can be seen here by anyone who wants to laugh at us (we did, several times).
And A has kindly sent us some cat nip, which looks suspiciously like a bunch of old herbs, and may or may not save our furniture - I haven't had time to put some in an old sock and wave it around in front of the cat's face as instructed - cat fans, you will be updated.
Have a happy weekend, all!
December 10, 2007
Breakdowndom
Don't you just hate it when everything breaks down just before Christmas, and you feel like "agh" because a) it costs money and b) you don't have time to deal with it because you're already spending your entire life trying to deal with the Pre Christmas Rush at work? Well, I do anyway.
And I know there are other things in the world more blogworthy that I should be moaning about, but I don't have the brainspace to think about them, so here is my list of breakages (in no particular order):
1) The car. Haaaaaa, of course it would be the car, because the car always breaks down just before Christmas every year. This year, not content with sustaining a dent after a youth* used it as - er - a trampoline, the car decided to have a puncture in its wheel too, which meant we had to drive around to no less than four garages this morning, before we found the one that was run by Tyre King, who knows everything there is to know about tyres. Then, while he was looking at it, we took the dog for a walk and almost got trampled by a herd of horses who ran at us (it's true... well, at least the dog almost got trampled). And now, we have to go back again tomorrow because Tyre King says blahhhhhh and blahhhhh and whatever, but mainly because it's the most complicated way of doing things.
*exhales*
2) The TV signal. Contrary to popular belief, living on a hill does not help you to get better TV signals, so tomorrow we are getting Sky TV**, because our electrician (who has been 11 times; we counted) said it's the only way we might actually see subtitles and proper TV channels and everything else that TVs are supposed to show.
3) My computer. Oh yes, siree. The Evil That Is V*sta has finally won the war and - er - done something. Sigh. So now my computer doesn't work without randomly switching itself off when I'm in the middle of the Pre Christmas Rush. Thank god for laptops, is all I can say, and that's strong coming from someone who hates laptops.
4) The dog.*** Who is now banned from under the bed for the rest of his life.
5) The cat. **** More catvice needed please, cat fans: how do you make a cat use his lovely new scratching pole thingy rather than scratching all of our doors and furniture to smithereens?
And that was my Broken Things Rant. Thank you and goodnight!
* - we think.
** - if you're interested in the special Dixons £75 deal and the website says it's sold out, don't be fooled because it isn't, and you can save a further 10% by putting in the code SKY10.
*** and **** - mainly just mentioned to annoy OPD, because she thinks I blog about the Harrys too much. And she is right!
December 4, 2007
Meant to be working...
... All blame/credit for the above must go to OPD, because she emailed me saying "I think this is very funny....you might not." and asked me to stick it on here. And I did, so I did.
But in all seriousness, the Government's carelessness and stupidity is not funny. Oh, no siree, it is not. There are many things I could say about it but I'm not in the mood.
Instead, I will tell my (in)visible blog readers our Harry Latest. They are both sulking because they went to the vet yesterday; Harry Corbett is convinced it's all a major conspiracy because we shut him in a box against his will and made him swallow an unidentified object, also against his will. And he is a cat, thus must be obeyed at all times, so he punished us by holding a hunger strike. Thankfully he has now given in and eaten, but is hiding behind Harry Barker's chair JUST TO MAKE SURE.
Harry Barker, meanwhile, is grumpy because he has hurt his back by over-chasing squirrels (at his age! oh, yes!) and is therefore banned from Under The Bed, which is one of his most favourite places in the world. He's tried to rebel and go there anyway but it's barricaded so he can't, so he has to stay in the office with me instead, WHICH IS NOT FUN.
And the over-nourished Pussy is nowhere to be seen, despite everyone's wise advice. Maybe s/he thinks we'll take her/him to the vet too?
December 1, 2007
Catvice please
I have just fed Pussy*, the neighbourhood stalker cat who keeps scaring me through the kitchen window, for the second day running (and about the 5th or 6th time in total). When I told C this, she just said "Oh good," and carried on talking to her Dad on the phone, as if it was all completely normal.
That's what I want to know... is it normal to feed cats when you've no idea who they are or where they came from, but they're ever so - dare I say it - cute, and you feel really sorry for them and worry that they aren't getting enough to eat? While I'm far from harbouring kittens and becoming a crazy cat woman like A [dodging thump], I need to know. Because if I/we are doing the wrong thing by feeding Pussy and s/he will become over-nourished, if there is such a thing, then I/we will have to stop.
In the meantime, Harry Corbett is smugly sitting in Harry Barker's chair, while Harry Barker pretends not to notice, instead making us feed him bits of toast because he knows we feel The Guilt. Badly.
* - Not his/her real name. Probably.
November 26, 2007
A brief Harry update
Harry is learning how Harry is God, thus must be obeyed at all times. He knows this because Harry The God has almost completely taken over our house, by positioning himself right in the middle of the sofa where he has a good view of his surroundings. Most of the time, Harry The God is quite calm and sleepy, but when approached by Harry, he growls menacingly to warn him that he is only a dog, and thus has no right to claim ownership of a house, never mind a piece of furniture. Like me and C, Harry accepts that Harry The God is God, and grudgingly surrenders his freedom, mostly because it just seems easier that way.
No surprises there, then.
November 25, 2007
Over Harry-ed
To cut a long, long story short, yesterday we went to a cat rescue place in search of a 3-legged cat called Mandu, but ended up with a different cat, who has 4 legs and is much less grumpy and scary. In fact, he isn't grumpy or scary at all, and is very nice indeed. So without further ado, here he is!
His name? Harry. Oh yes, it is.
As Harry is 12, and has been called Harry for 12 years (as far as we know), we don't feel it's very polite to change his name now. So Harry stays Harry, and the other Harry (who has been Harry for 10 years) also stays Harry. It has been a very Harry-ed weekend, and rather confusing. My sis, who was staying with us, remarked how it's a bit like the two Ronnies. So, for obvious reasons, we have given them surnames, thus "upgrading" them to Harry Barker and Harry Corbett (if anyone wants to know which is which, I will be surprised). They sound like a pair of old men, which is kind of what they are... we're joking that Mr Corbett is here for his retirement, and so he is.
And do our two elderly gentlemen get on? Err, not really. Not yet, anyway. Mr Barker was delighted to see Mr Corbett, who did not share his view, hissing evilly at him in disgust. Mr Corbett, however, seems to really like me and C, which is a little surprising, but helps a lot.
Maybe we'll just call him H.
PS: For the record, we also went geocaching, but couldn't find caches 5 and 6 because the map and the land totally didn't match and we were cold and wet and muddy, so we took wee sis to see geocache 4 instead, and made her find it. She was thrilled.