.... random rants and rambles. no agenda. yet.

It's been another week - or should I accept that this is just my life? - of mismatched events, parenting, working, running, domestic stuff and whatever else. So here I am on Saturday morning, blogging after I have been for a run, totally ignoring the fact that I need to go to the recycling centre, tidy the house and have a shower.

Get me and my gay abandon!

On a completely different note, this week I've been getting annoying emails. One thing that REALLY gets on my nerves is people who are full of shit or who bullshit others (not quite the same thing). Surprisingly, Oxfam have fallen into this category. The other day, I got an email from them with the subject header "PM Gordon Brown is waiting for your call."

No he is not! YOU want me to phone Gordon Brown about something political, which is why I've received this email from you - and I received this email because I'm on one of your marketing lists. So please do not insult my intelligence by pretending our Gordy is one of my mates and I know him so well that he's waiting for me to phone him (or rather, send him a text message because I don't do phones).

*Bins message*

And then I got ANOTHER email two days later entitled "The Prime Minister is STILL waiting for your call." I give up.

Yesterday brought about another annoying moment, when I got a bill from TalkTalk, who we've just signed up with for broadband/phone because Eclipse were really, really crap. And expensive, but that's another story.

"Sign up for online billing and save £1.25 a month" the paper bill advised me. So I did that, signing into my account, where I was told that I would have to PAY £1.25 a month if I wanted the priviledge of receiving a paper bill (wasting a few tree branches in the process). See what they did there?!

I won't even mention how we're mysteriously paying TalkTalk £6.49 for something that we didn't ask for, and therefore didn't want, that cannot be identified because I couldn't understand the rambling explanation I was given, and because C isn't going to phone them until Monday because we reckon everyone else will be phoning them at the weekend. Sigh.

The moral of this story? Always read the small print; even when you think you've done so already.

And now! It is the weekend! So I am going off to enjoy it.

Posted by j at 10:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I have invented a new phrase (or at least, I think I have - you never know)... Over Freecycling. This happens when Freecycling gets out of hand.

This happened to us last week when C asked me, "Do we want rainbow coloured curtains and a matching kids' duvet cover?" Usually when C asks me if we want any number of random items on Freecycle, I say "NO" and carry on doing whatever I was doing, but I've got a thing for rainbow stuff, and The Boy has too. So this time, I said yes, thinking they might come in handy at some point.

To cut a long story shorter, C arranged to meet the Rainbow Curtain Lady in the village that evening. However, it wasn't until we were out walking the dog, that we realised that C had forgotten all about it until the last minute, so we'd have to go on foot to meet her rather than taking the car. Ah, more enviromentally friendly and all that. Cool.

Um, no. This is us, remember?

Upon arriving at the meeting place, Rainbow Curtain Lady looked worried. "Don't you have a car?" she said.

"It's OK. We can put the curtains in the pram!" C replied.

THEN we realised they came in two very big bin bags, so we'd have to take The Boy out of his pram and put the bin bags in it instead, along with the bonus Jungle Book suitcase that the Rainbow Curtain Lady made C take too, because C is far too polite to say no, and because the snake on the suitcase lights up when you press the bear's nose, or something.

So we thanked Nice Rainbow Curtain Lady, then UP THE HILL we trudged with our pram laden with huge, heavy bin bags, a bonus suitcase, a dog and a baby. Did I mention that I also needed a wee? Irrelevant, but true.

And then, upon arriving home, we found that the rainbow curtains were not rainbow curtains after all. They were primary colour curtains. Very nice, BUT NOT RAINBOW!

So C took them away again the next day.

But did we keep the bonus Jungle Book suitcase? Of course!

So, that is Over Freecycling - bag lady prams are optional, though.

Mind you, my memory is even worse than C's - this morning I was about to start writing an essay, when I opened a file, thinking it was notes, to find that I had ALREADY WRITTEN IT before The Boy was born, and completely forgotten all about it. The joy!

In other news, Eclipse is doing. our. heads. in. Does anyone have any internet service provider recommendations? Or just tell me what you use and if it's any good? I'd be grateful for any comments in the comment box,(please)!

Posted by j at 4:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

For various complicated reasons - none of which are worth blogging about - today, I held my breath and joined The Evil That Is F@cebook.

Yes, I know.

And no, I didn't want to do it.

So why did I do it? Because I had to.

So anyway, I did it and I'm kind of sick of it already. C thinks I secretly like it, but really, I feel like someone removed my brain and replaced it with a giant interactive catalogue featuring everyone in the entire world (except C, and about seven other people). Scarily, when I joined, FB "suggested" about 14 million people who I might like to be friends with... and I knew many of them. So they obviously employ clever geeks who have weaved some kind of web between everyone and their friends, and their friends' friends, and their friends' friends' friends and whoever else is a fan of whatever they are a fan of. I'm having enough trouble trying to locate my "Wall".

It's a bit like trying to stay on a treadmill that's moving too fast. It is exhausting.

There seems to be two main types of people on FB; those who tell me "Oh, I only put basic information about myself there. I use it so that I can see everyone's photos, that's all. It's crap!" and those who treat it like a second job.

Me? I'm the type who switches off her computer and flees downstairs to make the tea, talking earnestly with The Boy, who is thankfully far too young for poking people, sharing weird quizzes and having 1,289 friends.

Thank God.

Posted by j at 6:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

The Co-op/RN.ID lovefest continues. And here is Part 2, which happened today:

I enter Hebden Co-op, groaning as I remember again about the RN.ID being its Charity of the Year. I do my shopping (with some difficulty, due to lack of kip) and then queue at the checkout. While I'm queuing, I notice a large poster advertising a raffle to raise money for none other than the RN.ID. The prize is a vast amount of chocolate, but I am not tempted. I pay for my shopping...

Cashier: (Brightly) Would you like to buy a raffle ticket?

Me: (Equally brightly) Um, no thank you.

[Cashier looks very surprised and stares at me.]

Me: Is it for the RN.ID?

Cashier: (Recovering) Yes.

Me: Well, then. I'm Deaf and I don't agree with the RN.ID, so, no.

Cashier: (Surprised) You're Deaf?

Me: Yes.

Cashier: And you don't want...

Me: No. I don't agree with the RN.ID.

Cashier: (Rather horrified) Why not?!

Me: Er, it's a long story.

[The cashier leans forward in interest, but I note that the queue behind me is not interested, so decide against trying to explain.]

Me: I don't like charity. No charity.

[The cashier eyes me suspiciously.]

Cashier: (Defiantly) I'm learning sign language!

Me: That's good. That's very good!

[I finish filling my bags, sign THANK YOU and leave, with the cashier and everyone in the queue giving me odd looks.]

God, this is hard work.

Posted by j at 3:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Please stop trying to sell me the copious amounts of chocolates, alcohol, eco friendly gadgets and red/pink themed random items which you have 'cunningly' disguised as Valentine's Day gifts. I have not fallen for your ploys, and will not be falling for them.

I am a woman.
I know what to do.
I am prepared.

And do you know what? I might well have purchased my OWN Valentine themed random items ALREADY. Oh yes, I might. So, I'm not buying yours. Oh, no.

So, please stop emailing me every five minutes. It's not working.

Thank you,
The Management

Posted by j at 1:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I keep forgetting that, for some absurd reason, the Co-op has decided that the RN.ID is its 2009 charity of the year. I've tried remembering what its charity of the year was last year, but cannot, which makes me ask; WHY THIS YEAR?! And WHY THE RN.ID?!

We are lucky enough to have two Co-ops around here, both of which I visit regularly, and both of which are festooned with RN.ID bunting and buckets, and loads of RN.ID propaganda claiming that the money will "directly benefit deaf and hard of hearing people in the local community." My arse, it will. And why exactly we need benefitting, anyway, is beyond me. They aren't exactly going to pay our tax bill or come round and offer to walk the dog while we get some kip, are they? What a load of B*******.

But anyway, I keep forgetting about all of the above, which means that the following sequence keeps playing out (like it did tonight)...

* I rush into the Co-op, completely forgetting that a) I'm Deaf and b) the Co-op is trying to "help" me.

* I rush around filling my basket with items, still oblivious.

* I rush to the checkout...

* ... and then FREEZE when I see the RN.ID crap all over the place, praying that the staff don't notice/remember/discover I'm Deaf and make a big thing out of it, saying things like "Oh, you're Deaf! Isn't the RN.ID ever so good?", because I can't be bothered to explain the truth.

* Lots of grinning and nodding is involved when I'm paying. I'm also standing stock-still, just in case I move Deafly. Or something.

* I leg it, cursing how I could possibly have forgotten again.

And it's only January. A whole year of this farce. Oh joy.

Posted by j at 8:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

... just try being stalked by someone else with the same name as you.

At least, that's what happened to poor C today. As you may know, we're both Avoiders Of Facebook, so cannot be tracked down that way. However, C's old Chemistry classmate was minding his own business today when he came across someone on the internet with the same name as C, so he emailed the other C (!) and asked if she was his old classmate at the school they went to. She told him she wasn't, and Googled "their" name (!!) then found the real C on our business website and emailed the classmate with her CV (!!!) And THEN, the bewildered classmate emailed the real C and told her all of that.

(C is now peering at me in concern as I burst out laughing after I typed the above paragraph, but please be assured that it is true. And, she has just tracked down HIM, and he turned out to be a lawyer, totally unaware of any stalkage going on. Oh, and why bother doing Chemistry A Level in the first place if you're going to be a lawyer or an interpreter?)

So, there's definitely no need for Facebook if you want to find your old friends. People always email me the cool stuff they put on Facebook anyway, because if they don't, I shout at them. And, I've lost count of the number of times people look jealous when I tell them I'm not on it, as if I'm the only person they know who hasn't got themselves addicted to crack.

But that is one of the reasons I won't touch it. Because I KNOW it's addictive and I KNOW I will spend hours stumbling down and down and down and down through a massive neverending black hole of profiles and useless information and too many details and whatever else. That's what happened when I tried Bebo anyway. There is no room in my life for another vacuum.

Besides, as someone who I met this week told me, she calls Facebook "Life F***". I think that says everything.

Posted by j at 8:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

... but the carpet men's hammering is driving me mad. Mad, mad, mad.

BANG

BANG BANG BANG BANG

BANG BANG BANG

BANG.

I just had to blog that for sanity reasons.

Posted by j at 4:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

OK, so I'm not the world's best blogger and keep breaking my Must Blog At Least Once A Week rule. Sigh. It's been one of those weeks where time just flies at lightning speed and all of a sudden you realise it's Thursday and are surprised and delighted at the same time because that means the weekend is only a day away.

And THEN it's the weekend and you have millions of jobs to do, like go to the tip and empty loads of overdue rotten garden waste into a huge metal container, while trying not to retch, and then you have to dash home fasttttt because your lady wife has forgotten she's Freecycled some stuff to the same earnest local councillor who came round before, but of course the councillor is an hour late - and apologetic - because she was far too busy sorting out councillory things to have remembered herself.

Of course.

So anyway I've been meaning to blog about Prop 8 for ages now, well at least since the day after Obama won (and yes, I know Obama doesn't agree with gay marriage ... the day that an American leader DOES is the day I keel over in astonishment. At least he believes in "equal rights for gays" and civil partnerships, which is something.). Because about 12 hours after Obama won, gays and lesbians in California and three other states lost their right to get married. California is meant to be the gayest state in the USA, for God's sake!

There's something particularly horrible about having your hard-won rights TAKEN AWAY from you. It's quite different to having no rights in the first place, I would imagine - especially if they are voted away by people who know nothing at all about you and your life, and quite often don't even know what they're voting for - they're just doing what all the billboards and religious nutcases have told them to do. Ticking a box takes a second but can have devastating consequences.

Imagine one day you are married and the next you aren't allowed to be, and you have no idea what that's going to mean for your future?! Pure madness. And no, I am not Californian, nor have I ever been there, but gay rights are kind of universal, so it's hard not to feel affected. I don't think we've heard the last of that one yet, though. We gays are strong!

I guess that was one of the more depressing posts I've written of late, so, um, here's a fantastic flash game to cheer you up.

Just. Can't. Stop. Playing. It.

Posted by j at 4:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

God, it's cold, isn't it?! I am typing this with a freezing nose, under three layers of clothing and a hat. C swears it's "just a cold snap" and things will all get warmer again soon, but I'm not convinced.

We actually had to scrape frost off the car yesterday before it was drivable, and it's way too cold for the cats to desire outside, so they've been pacing around annoying C (not me, of course) by going

Me-ow
me-owwwww
me-ow!
MEOW!

every few minutes or so, until she gets cross, picks up the offending animal and chucks him outside. Then of course, the offending animal will simply get up on the kitchen windowsill and go

Me-ow
me-owwwww
me-ow!
MEOW!

with a furious face, until she gets up and lets him in again, and the whole cycle repeats itself. It's quite hard not to laugh sometimes.

In other news, I'd forgotten how B.O.R.I.N.G. buying a carpet is. Of course, we disagreed over the colour so we ended up buying a slightly more expensive one that C managed to convince me was really just the same price, and the carpet salesman, who looked just like a game show host with a bright red tie and lots of bling, explained that it has some kind of cleanliness guarantee, so, for THE NEXT SEVEN YEARS, we can phone the manufacturer if there's a stain on it and they'll explain how to get rid of the stain, and if that doesn't work, they'll come round to our house and get rid of it themselves. Yes, really.

It was all I could do not to scream "NOOOOO" and run out of the shop. Instead, I said something like "yes, whatever," then paid an obscene amount of money and worried about it for an hour afterwards.

It's hard being an adult sometimes.

And now I'm officially too cold to type, which is probably just as well. Bye!

Posted by j at 7:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

I fully understand that you may be experiencing teenage angst and dissatisfaction with life in general, and have a burning desire to rebel. This is a normal part of growing up. However, eating a slice of toast with jam on your way to school and deciding to stuff your leftover jammy crust in the post box is NOT a good way to do it.

I thank you. Agh!

Posted by j at 11:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

In a nutshell, Hebden made the BBC news today; rather surprisingly, I thought, because when they weren't arguing about it in the local paper, everyone was screaming "fix!" "fix!" and expecting to see the builders move in at any moment. Got all that? Read on...

I'm not a resident of that part of Hebden, but I am relieved it's been rejected because we don't need it; as Susan Press (our mayor, by the way!) says, it's the wrong time. Why do we need new shops when there's almost an entire row of them lying empty because no one can be bothered to walk to 'the far side' of Hebden to buy things? And I don't think ANYWHERE needs any more expensive flats [as a side note - they seem to be building them EVERYWHERE!?].

And anyway, should we even be considering such things when Wall Street is in such a mess - everyone knows America rules the world, so it's not really going to be fun for anyone?

Posted by j at 3:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Maybe this is a weird old Britishism, but there are few things that seem to annoy people more than not being able to park their cars.

I recall a few years ago, my mate lived in a near-constant state of mild paranoia simply because she wanted to park OUTSIDE HER OWN HOUSE, but her neighbours were, well, weird, and very possessive of the small but very important area of tarmac that they believed was theirs, and THEIRS ALONE. Good God.

I didn't understand that then because I couldn't drive, but now that I can, I am getting there.

Me and C are very fortunate to have a small side road running down the side of our house which we can park up (but I can't reverse out because it's soooo steep), as well as a space at the front of our house, which has been taken up by someone else for the last week - we nipped out briefly last Sunday and were rather annoyed to see it squatting in "our" space when we got back.

And it has been there ever since.

I can't think about that too much, otherwise I get mad and remind myself that only crazy people get hung up over parking, and really, there are far more important things to worry about in life. And besides, we're lucky to a) have a car in the first place, and b) have a side road to park it in.

Obviously, the side road would be more useful if I could actually retrieve the car AFTER I have parked it there (i.e. I can drive up it, but not back down again). It would also be good if the nice man opposite didn't have a huge, butch truck type vehicle - which I am secretly a bit jealous of - that needs plenty of space to turn in the road, so we have to keep our car out of the way.

Then, it wouldn't have mattered that I parked my car at a weird angle in front of our house this morning, because a) squatter car was still there, b) I'm going out soon, and c) I really couldn't be bothered to think creatively. As it happened, Truck Man had to drive ever so slowly and carefully past my car, inch by inch, at exactly the right angle. I was quite impressed, and told him I wouldn't do that again.

So squatter car is really quite a pain.

But I am nowhere near as car parking obsessed as all the people in Hebden who write letters to the local paper every single week, arguing about the plans for the new Garden Street development. It's now become a personal slanging match and isn't very nice to read. I think I'll keep out of that one.

Posted by j at 10:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

After much page refreshing and generally Too Much Information, the parcel arrived.

However (because there is always a however, as we all know) IT WAS THE WRONG COLOUR.

Sigh!

At least the sun has also come - WOO - so have a fab Bank Holiday, all!

Posted by j at 9:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Sun, sun
We need you
So please come back
And stay for a while
Please, because
This much rain
Is not good for the soul
Although it means we have to water the garden less, which isn't too bad really.

OK yes I am British, thus obsessed with the weather. But everyone's been complaining about Summer 2008 (or the lack of it) lately, so why can't I?

It's weird. I keep thinking, SUMMER MIGHT STILL COME, and then I remember it's September soon, so there isn't much chance of that. However, E and P are going on holiday IN BRITAIN in September so I am hoping that it will at least be warmer then than now.

Also in September, thrillingly, we'll have been living here and running our 'new' (i.e. second) business for a year. Somehow the lack of seasonal definitions has meant the whole past year's kind of been balled up into a blur and most of the months have been similar, just a bit hotter or colder at times.

Weather-obsessed? Maybe. But try working in front of a giant window with a view over the Calder Valley every day and not noticing the weather. Impossible! Ha.

And no, I wouldn't live anywhere else.

Posted by j at 6:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Did someone mistake me for Victor Meldrew?

Someone from Age Concern obviously thinks that I am about 40 years older than I actually am. I received something in the post from them a few days ago, but didn't bother opening the envelope as I thought it'd be a fundraising thingy. This morning, I opened it and was confused. Then I realised what it was - A SPECIAL ENERGY BENEFIT THINGY FOR OLDER PEOPLE.

I am 33, people! 33! Should I send a Victor Meldrewish email to Age Concern and tell them?!

[However, this all isn't nearly as bad as what happened to a friend of mine (who remains nameless, and is welcome to out herself in the comments, if she wants!) who went along to her local Benefits Agency one day. After much paper shuffling, the clerk looked alarmed, ran off and came back, saying apologetically, "I'm ever so sorry, Ms X. Our records show you're dead." Recovering from the shock, the very much alive Ms X explained to the stupid bloke that she was DEAF, not dead - DEAF with a "F"! - and they should be more careful with their spelling.]

Some people!

In other news, a spanking new local website is now online here, with a geekish wee contribution from me here. I'm meant to be writing other things for them but am a little bit stuck for ideas, so if anyone has any, feel free to suggest.

And as for the Caption Comp - I've laughed a lot so far!! The deafline is Monday.

Did I say deafline? I meant DEADLINE, with a "D". Ha.

Posted by j at 11:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

OK so the shed has arrived and everyone can breathe a sigh of relief. Especially the shed guys, who arrived after 6pm yesterday with many apologies and much shed dust on their shoes. Apparently, ours was their sixth and last shed of the day, and somehow they'd managed to install them in Derby and Nottingham earlier on. Supershedmen indeed!

If anyone is actually interested (that's be nobody, I guess), you can see the shed making its Project Tuesday debut here. (Funnily enough, we haven't actually put anything in the shed yet. I think the urgency has worn off now that it's actually here and hasn't fallen down the hill or anything.)

And no, I never thought there would be a stage in my life where I got a shed, took a photo of it every week as part of a science art science art you decide experiment, just to see what happens, then posted the results on the internet so that random people could read all about it and then laugh to themselves about the crazy shed lady with nothing better to do.

But here I am, somehow.

In other news, my PC is still not playing ball with broadband. I'm not sure why. The laptop is fine, and so is C's PC, mostly ... I've tried her USB adapter with mine, but it didn't make any difference. It may be because we got one of these last week - it worked for a while but then my PC seemed to decide it didn't like it. Does anyone know if a wireless G USB adapter is OK with a wireless N router? I didn't think it would be a problem, but something is not happy somewhere.

So if you know, please tell me and I will be ever so grateful and do whatever you want*!

* within reason.

Posted by j at 3:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Today has not been good so far. For a start, broadband has not been playing nicely with any of the computers here (which also means I may or may not be able to post this). We don't know why - news of any eclipse outages?? - thinking of switching to Green ISP anyway. Whatever.

The worst thing by far was my trip to the dentist. I'm just glad that C came too (I may be 33 but I'm still too scared to go alone sometimes, especially now that we left our gracious and charming old dentist behind in Preston when we moved), and that the dental assistant was very nice indeed, because the dentist was scary.

[DRILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL]

"You need to decide whether you want your tooth out NOW, or if you want to come back twice for longer and scarier appointments, or if you want to pay £300 to be referred to a specialist who may or may not be able to help you."

[MUCH PANIC]

(This bit was edited perfectly by C, who knew it would send me over the edge, so she told me in the car afterwards:) "I can't work with you if you're goiing to have an attitude like that. You need to be more enthusiastic if I'm going to save your tooth."

What was I meant to do, spit out the dental juice and say, "OH YES, PLEASE! I'd love to come back again!"?!

[MORE PANIC]

(Also edited by C)"...You're going to have to hurry up because I have a waiting room full of people."

[DRILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL]

[TEARS OUTSIDE]

Christ. I'll let her off because she's a good dentist and a nice lady really - and because English seems to be her second language, so perhaps something was lost in her translation. I cannot say I am looking forward to my second and third appointments, however.

Then, when we left the dental car park with Harrythedog to take him for a quick walk, we doubled back along the towpath that runs next to it and looked over the wall to see A MAN WAS PUTTING A CLAMP ON OUR CAR. Somehow, C managed to convince him that we'd been to the dentist - showing him the receipt helped - so he grumbled to himself and took it away again.

Just imagine - someone actually sits in a car all day in Mytholmroyd Health Centre's car park, watching out in case someone decides to walk their dog after they've been traumatised at the dentist, and then leaps out and gets a huge yellow metal contraption from their boot and sticks it on their tyre and charges them £75 to have it removed, or tries to, anyway.

Wow.

Posted by j at 11:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Oh yes, Brian is very cute, in a Shrek-like way.

Oh yes, we are perfectly happy to be his canteen/B&B/friendly local catnip supplier.

HOWEVER, we would much prefer that he didn't get into a spraying war with Harrythecat, because really, life is complicated enough without regularly going round the house with vinegar solution, peering suspiciously at any patches that vaguely resemble cat "liquid".

Solutions? We've tried them all. The latest was £40 spent on a calming diffuser thingy, special wipes and an exciting looking CSI-style torch. They better arrive soon!

Soon, soon, soon!

Posted by j at 3:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Anyone who goes to subtitled cinema should know that they might arrive and find that the film they want to watch doesn't have subtitles after all, usually because the people who make subtitles for cinemas put them on separate disks which are sent from cinema to cinema to share, because really it isn't 2008 and they don't have any better ideas... and sometimes these disks get lost in the post. Something like that, anyway.

Well, that's what happened to me and C on Wednesday when we went to watch Happy Go Lucky, the magnificent Mike Leigh's latest film. There was no point in shouting at the apologetic woman at the desk, especially when she admitted that she'd hoped no Deaf people would turn up. I can't say I blame her! Instead, C told her we'd been looking forward to it all week (because we had) and I added that I was very sad (because I was) and we went home and watched Disturbia on DVD instead (a brilliant film, but not what we wanted to watch in the first place).

Hoping that we could catch Happy Go Lucky somewhere else, or get the cinema to borrow the disk on a different date, I did a bit of research on yourlocalcinema.com and found that somehow, Hebden cinema was one of the privileged chosen THREE cinemas across the UK that would be showing it with subtitles. Yes, THREE. And no, they aren't within walking distance - one is in Inverness, and the other one, spookily, is near A (who lives a long way away in the middle of nowhere, it must be said). So A, now you know what to do next Wednesday.

In the meantime, I'm hoping the DVD will have subtitles, but have a feeling it won't because it's a British film and British films rarely seem to have them for some annoying reason.

Ah well, worse things could happen.

Posted by j at 9:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

No more wee, thank God.

And no, we didn't take all of the above home, in case anyone was wondering about the title of this post. I was more referring to the piles of randomly procured things in the kitchen and on the washing line that need to be Freecycled by us, but not yet because WE ARE GOING ON HOLIDAY SOON, so for now they're kind of temporarily classified as memorabilia.

Crazy? Yes. That's me. And C.

Bag ladies? Not yet. For now, just crazy cat ladies. OMG.

Posted by j at 5:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

What would I say if you asked me if I'd spent all weekend traipsing around a field in the mud, voluntarily picking up rubbish and recycling other people's alcohol-related debris at a camping festival that I'm not even camping at, because they don't allow dogs, and also because we're kind of running a cat B&B at the moment (which is a whole other story for another day)?

I'd say yes. And I'd add that 10am is a particularly horrible time to have stale beer all over your hands.

Heh. It's actually fun, believe it or not, mostly because of the obvious environmental benefits, but also because it's quite a sociable job and C and I have both met loads of lovely people - and nagged them about recycling, of course.

It's also really disgusting. Who knew that baked bean flavour baby food could make so much mess? And also who DIDN'T know that sanitary towels can't be recycled?! Oh, and if the two men who peed drunkenly in the plastics bin outside the main marquee ever tell me it was them, they will live to regret it*. Nuff said!

The weirdest thing we've found so far has to be the pair of gentleman's suit shoes which were placed neatly at the bottom of one of the bins soon after the festival started. All very mysterious!

So. More mud and beer cans beckon tomorrow... just please, no more wee*.

* And yes, I know that was probably all Too Much Information, but, umm, how else am I meant to process such weirdness?

Posted by j at 6:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Am I glad it's the weekend? Very glad. I'm especially glad because me and C spent a lot of last weekend Doing Things, and this weekend the only thing we're doing is going to see this play, which should be quite exciting, partly because I've never seen subtitled theatre before.

I digress. One of the things we Did last weekend was spend a lot of time skidding about in the mud picking up loads of rubbish that stupid people had thrown all over the nice countryside. No, we didn't lose our minds, we joined in our local Clean Up thingy, along with quite a lot of other people who agree that people who throw rubbish all over the countryside are stupid. Me and C were lucky enough (!) to get a whole patch of our own at the bottom of a slope, which looked like this when we started:

Well, actually, that's only about 20% of it all. And that bike was HEAVY, but kind of useful, as I used it as a kind of pick to jam into the ground and hang onto when I was skidding back up the slope again. No idea if that made sense, but it's what I did. Oh, and the speaker (the black box thing in the photo) was EXTRA HEAVY, and kind of fell apart on the way up the slope, taking me back down with it about 3 times.

Which brings me to ask: WHY go to all the bother of dragging a really, really heavy professional DJ's speaker along a countryside path and then pushing it down a slope, where it stays for a few years before some stupid person (i.e. me) comes along and almost breaks her leg dragging it back up and sticking it in a skip? Seriously... why?!

People are weird.

But that's not the weirdest thing we found... there were several bikes, a fridge, a mouldy old dartboard, a cooker, a sewing machine, millions of cans and crisp packets and God knows what else, all strewn across the countryside. And. That. Makes. Me. Mad.

Here's some of the evidence:

And when we had finished our patch, it looked like this:

I can't tell you how satisfying that was. Like I said, people are weird.

Posted by j at 5:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

This week has been a very hard week, largely because of an Evil Computer Company that I don't want to name in case they sue me - and because I might want to sue them, depending on how mad I decide I am with them, which, at the moment, is swaying hormonally between Very Mad and UNSPEAKABLY MAD and Really Not Caring At All. However, if you're thinking of buying a new computer, please email me and I will tell you who they are so that you can give them a wide berth and avoid major stresses and ridiculous situations like the one I'm in.

Here is a list of some of ECC's sins, in no particular order (mainly because I'm so fed up that I can't remember the order in which everything happened).

* They have been here four times in the last 6 weeks or so to fix my computer. Have they fixed it? No.

* One of the failed-fixings was due to the fact that the bum-fluff-bearded "engineer" forgot to connect a wire. Upon return, he found this really funny and embarrassing, and expressed that his main concern was that his mates in the office were going to rib him about it, and did not seem at all bothered that it had eaten into my work hours. Again.

* Did I mention they have eaten into my work hours? Loads of them.

* And I actually need a computer to do my job? Hello?

* Have they apologised for the above? No.

* They are staffed by a bunch of 20 year olds who all need to go on some kind of customer relations course and learn how to say thank-you, and sorry, and above all, THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT.

* They keep trying to make me use the phone, when I have told them repeatedly that I am Deaf and my preferred method of communication is email.

* They have ONE member of staff who is able to use email in the correct manner; in that she is able to press "reply" and "send" MOST of the time. Unfortunately she is merely the person who is responsible for booking the "engineers", i.e. not worth shouting at.

* They have not acknowledged my latest request for an engineer (which was two days ago!), nor any of my three requests for a refund, nor my threat of legal action or my other request for a simple one-lined reply. Reading forums, I realise with a heavy heart that I am not alone.

* I also realise that there's no chance of a reply for at least two days now because it's 7pm on a Friday night.

* All of the above has made me hate Vista, ECC and anything to do with desktop PCs. It's also given me a sore back because I'm having to use my laptop instead which is NOT GOOD FOR MY POSTURE.

And anyway, bum-fluff-beardy "engineer" left his tie in our garden (! I know !) and I am holding it to ransom, which makes me feel better in a silly, OTT and hormonal way.

Have a good weekend. And don't buy a computer!

Posted by j at 7:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Did anyone see BNP Wives on Sky One last night? I watched it because I like to know my enemy - OK, so I'm white and 'Northern European' (their definition of 'acceptable'), but believe me, the BNP are my enemy.

I'm delighted to tell you that they made absolute prats of themselves and showed the BNP up as being what they are; racist bullies who don't know what they're talking about. Indeed, when one wife was asked why she didn't want a black midwife for the birth of her child, she just went blank, laughed nervously and said "Well, because I'm white, innit?" When pressed, she admitted it was actually all her husband's idea.

Another wife, clearly unable to form a coherent opinion/logical reason for racism, resorted to low level insults to argue her case, calling a very nice passer-by a "fat slag" because she dared object to the racist crap that was being handed out in the street.

And they had the nerve to call it all "politics"!

I can't begin to tell you how gobsmackingly stupid these people are. But you can see for yourself because I think it's being repeated about three times tonight on various channels (Sky One and HD or something like that). Remember - know your enemy.

And have a good weekend!

Posted by j at 11:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Posted by j at 4:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Last night our neighbour kindly came to the door in the rain to tell us that our car was illegally parked facing the wrong way, and we should turn it round because "they fined 20 people all at the same time on that once." Ehhhh?! Yes, she said; it's something to do with a bizarre highway law that says you aren't allowed to park your car facing the 'wrong way' at night, otherwise other drivers might shine their headlights into yours and think you're about to move, or something like that:

Parking at night

248

You MUST NOT park on a road at night facing against the direction of the traffic flow unless in a recognised parking space.

[Laws CUR reg 101 & RVLR reg 24]

Has anyone else ever heard of this kind of thing happening?!

In other news, we are getting a cat shelter. Laugh if you may, but you don't live here and have to endure the nightly pain of sending Pussy The Stalker Cat away in the rain. Granted, Pussy doesn't seem to want to stay (s/he just wants food), but s/he looks neglected and always seems to be freezing. So, s/he is getting a wee shelter in our garden. A quick G00gle told me that cat houses are ridiculous both in terms of price and image (OK, so that's an American website, but the UK ones were no better - I even found one for over £700! Can you imagine?!), so I've appealed on Freecycle instead.

I wish people wouldn't treat animals so craply. I mean, what kind of evil monster does this?! (NOTE: Do not click on the link if you're easily upset and/or love horses)

Sigh.

Posted by j at 12:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Don't you just hate it when everything breaks down just before Christmas, and you feel like "agh" because a) it costs money and b) you don't have time to deal with it because you're already spending your entire life trying to deal with the Pre Christmas Rush at work? Well, I do anyway.

And I know there are other things in the world more blogworthy that I should be moaning about, but I don't have the brainspace to think about them, so here is my list of breakages (in no particular order):

1) The car. Haaaaaa, of course it would be the car, because the car always breaks down just before Christmas every year. This year, not content with sustaining a dent after a youth* used it as - er - a trampoline, the car decided to have a puncture in its wheel too, which meant we had to drive around to no less than four garages this morning, before we found the one that was run by Tyre King, who knows everything there is to know about tyres. Then, while he was looking at it, we took the dog for a walk and almost got trampled by a herd of horses who ran at us (it's true... well, at least the dog almost got trampled). And now, we have to go back again tomorrow because Tyre King says blahhhhhh and blahhhhh and whatever, but mainly because it's the most complicated way of doing things.

*exhales*

2) The TV signal. Contrary to popular belief, living on a hill does not help you to get better TV signals, so tomorrow we are getting Sky TV**, because our electrician (who has been 11 times; we counted) said it's the only way we might actually see subtitles and proper TV channels and everything else that TVs are supposed to show.

3) My computer. Oh yes, siree. The Evil That Is V*sta has finally won the war and - er - done something. Sigh. So now my computer doesn't work without randomly switching itself off when I'm in the middle of the Pre Christmas Rush. Thank god for laptops, is all I can say, and that's strong coming from someone who hates laptops.

4) The dog.*** Who is now banned from under the bed for the rest of his life.

5) The cat. **** More catvice needed please, cat fans: how do you make a cat use his lovely new scratching pole thingy rather than scratching all of our doors and furniture to smithereens?

And that was my Broken Things Rant. Thank you and goodnight!

* - we think.
** - if you're interested in the special Dixons £75 deal and the website says it's sold out, don't be fooled because it isn't, and you can save a further 10% by putting in the code SKY10.
*** and **** - mainly just mentioned to annoy OPD, because she thinks I blog about the Harrys too much. And she is right!

Posted by j at 6:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)

Posted by j at 6:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

(And no, I don't mean you, my lovely blog readers - if you're reading this, you're most probably 'over it' anyway; if you're not, you should be! - it's Stonewall's new campaign to beat homophobic bullying in schools, and very fine, it is too. I was touched to read the many MySpace comments from gay teens... which also made me feel old, but then again, many things do.

So anyway, I was impressed and wanted to share that. After all, under my many layers, I am gay too.)

Also in the spirit of sharing, I'm thinking about ways to become more carbon neutral... and before anyone rolls their eyes and mutters under their breath (that'd be you, KL!), it basically means that I'm thinking about planting some trees. So if you would like a tree for Christmas - instead of a wrapped up pressie - let me know. If you wouldn't, that's fine too.

I've also subscribed to The Nag, which does exactly what it says on the tin, and nags you. More specifically, if you sign up, it will send you emails about being greener (once a month, I think - I've not had mine yet!) which can't hurt, can it?! So if you want to do the lazy thing and have someone tell you what to do, sign up too ... and let me know if you do so that we can compare notes... or should that be nags!?

In other green news, I was delighted and somewhat surprised that Londoners are thinking about copying little old Hebden Bridge and doing away with plastic bags. Now, that would be cool.

I realise this is probably a rather preachy and boring post - I didn't mean it to be, honest, was just clearing my inbox/various crevices of my brain - so if you have made it this far, you are rewarded with this word game link.... kind of a weird idea but I guess it can't do any harm... and it's addictive!

So anyway, have a great weekend. Or, if you read this on Monday morning when you're sitting sleepily at your desk and wishing you weren't, try not to play the rice game alllllll day.

Posted by j at 9:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

I was cross when I found out it was Blog Action Day yesterday, because by the time I found out it was something like 5pm and therefore too late to participate properly (C said I was too busy being green to participate, because we'd been recycling "extra" plastic and Freecycling a mound of stuff, which I found quite funny). Then I thought, well, why confine myself to blogging about the environment on one day?! I do that anyway, so here I am today instead, a day late, with my usual environmental concerns rambles.

WE USE TOO MANY TREES! It's true.

Sorting out the office, this is just some of the paper we have come across that needs to be recycled:

I repeat: JUST SOME of it. Jeesh. How many trees was I responsible for having chopped down?! To be fair, though, a lot of it is from, like, 7 years ago when people used to print out emails just in case they needed them (I did, and I never needed them... so I stopped). Sigh. Too bad our shredder is a bit crap and only takes 5 sheets of paper at a time. That's a lot of shredding, and a lot of time.

At least this move has resulted in a major Free/recyclathon, rather than throwing 7 bin liners full of unsorted rubbish away, like I did when I left London. I still feel guilty about that. I'm probably not normal; but at least I repent:

O God Of Trees, please forgive me. I offer you tons of paper, carefully separated from other materials and shredded. I offer you tons of cardboard also, and glass and metal, and even extra plastic, carefully washed and dried. Hell, I even offer you Tetrapaks, and I'll go all the way to Halifax and take them to the special place where the special Tetrapak people will come along and take them away and recycle them with the special thingies that they use.

And, and, we have some batteries too. And compost. And probably some other things. Yes, definitely some other things. Do you forgive me now?! I hope so. And yes, I know I have a weird kind of Enviro-guilt, and will just have to live with it.

Thanks for listening anyway.
Amen.

Posted by j at 5:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Why does everything always take so long!?

After being told by our solicitor that the contract for the new house should be with us at the beginning of this week, we have just found out that we should get it tomorrow. Hello! As far as I am aware, Thursday is at the end of the week. Yes, I know, it's only a day or two later than anticipated, but it's really annoying how the goalposts keep moving further and and further away, and I am starting to think that we'll be lucky if we move before Christmas.

Inside, I know I am just being an impatient drama queen and should probably calm down and take a deep breath and recognise how this is normal, and buying a house is meant to take 2 or 3 months anyway. It just seems to be taking longer because we work from home so much, and this house isn' t quite big enough.

Whatever. At least I have a roof over my head - many people don't.

[An onlooker: Shut up, J!]

OK *breathes deeply* onto other things; this game drove me mad for several days* before I managed to finish it last night, much to C's (and my) relief! Well worth playing, though please note; if you save your game, you might end up putting in the wrong number, thus resuming play at a completely different stage like I did, and have to start again(!)

* not ALL DAY, just a few minutes of an evening, you understand.

Finally, it is now my turn to be annoying and announce that the result of the caption competition will be announced on Friday, because Harry is busy and doesn't have time to judge the entries until then. So, if you haven't entered yet, now's the time! And IF YOU HAVE ALREADY ENTERED, YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO ENTER AGAIN!

Posted by j at 10:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Hat tip to Joe for this information about why it is not a good idea to join Facebook....they're up there with G00gle, stealing your ID etc. I have enough problems with G00gle to even think about selling my soul to another devil (well, you know what I mean!)...

[Note to Deafies: This is quite interesting for about 2 minutes, and then it gets boring because someone starts waffling in voiceover and there are no subtitles. I know this because nothing seemed to be happening, so I touched the speaker to see if someone was talking instead, and they did seem to be, OK, Joe?! I.E. I am not a secret hearing person - only in your silly wee mind!]

SO, YOU WERE WARNED!

Sigh. This week has seen me grappling with V*sta, as I have mentioned several times (yes this is boring). While it is lovely to have a computer that works faster than my brain, it is also really annoying having to download updates alllllllllllll theeeeeeeeee timeeeeeeeeee and work out how to do everything a different way.

Take 0ffice 2007, for example, which is completely different to other versions. Using Word is a whole new experience(!) Confusingly, everything SEEMS to be far more complicated to do than before, but when you actually re-learn how to do things, you realise it's all a lot easier. I lost patience with it this afternoon though, and just emailed a weirdly formatted document to a very patient colleague, knowing that she has the common sense to work out what goes where.

If that doesn't mess with one's head, I don't know what does.

Also messing with my head is the fact that IE is now my default browser, and I DON'T WANT IT TO BE! It's psychological. It's like someone making me sit at a new desk that's too low, or use a weirdly shaped keyboard. It's unfamiliar and annoying and I don't like it! To be fair, I haven't finished G00gling for a solution - and if anyone beats me to one, I will be very grateful and buy them a drink - but everything I have tried so far doesn't work.

That's Micro$oft for you - control, control, control. "You must use V*sta how we want you to. You must use the browser we want you to use, and we will make it really really difficult for you to rebel and set Opera as your default, in the hope that you will give up and use crappy old IE and catch a virus and be doomed forevermore. Ahahahaha."

OK, so I got carried away there, but you see my point? It so reminds me of a time when I dashed round the Marks and Spencer food hall trying to find ingredients for a meal I wanted to make from scratch, but nothing was there... M&S wanted to sell me a meal *they* had made... it didn't want me to have the freedom to make my own. Agh! I was in the wrong shop(!)

We live in a ready made world, I guess. And sometimes that is useful, like when you can't be bothered to cook... or think. I digress.

There are other annoying things about V*sta, but despite them, I do like it. I would describe it as a pretty and fun way of working, as long as you don't mind being controlled, and having a number of rather useless things in your PC. For example, what is the point of Flip 3D?! Yes, it looks pretty...

... but what is it FOR, apart from making your windows spin round and round, adding considerably to The Confusion That Is The V*sta "Experience"?!

Whatever. It's Friday afternoon, and at least I can actually play Flash games on this computer, unlike my old one!

Have a good weekend if you read this beforehand!

Posted by j at 2:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

So today is the day TB finally goes where he should have gone a long time ago - Somewhere Else. Of course, I am pleased. This is part of the reason why:

On another note, you know when you start a new job, you inherit the desk that the person who was there before you used to stick chewing gum underneath, and other gross things like that? Well the same is kind of true for Gordon Brown... in addition to getting a posh(er) new house and probably more expensive holidays, he will be getting this:

More great stuff here.

Because whoever you vote for, the Government always wins.

(C was wondering earlier what Bliar might have got as a leaving pressie from the office whip-round? A mug with Bush on it? A war-engraved tankard? That's enough for now, I think...)

Posted by j at 3:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

So I joined Bebo, and what more do people want? They want me to join Facebook now.

As always, A is very persuasive; "resistance is futile" ... "go on, you know you want to" ... "that way you'd get some peace" ... "no nagging" ... and (scarily) ... "how can you die in 70 years time and not go on facebook?" - err, if I live to be 102, I will be delighted.

S, however, is more to the point, chanting like a woman possessed: "facebookfacebookfacebookfacebookfacebookfacebookfacebook
facebookfacebookfacebookfacebookfacebookfacebookfacebook
facebookfacebookfacebookfacebookfacebookfacebookfacebook"

And now they are talking about setting up a Facebook campaign thingy to make me join..!? Should I be flattered, or should I be very concerned about the detrimental effect it is having on my mates' sanity?!

Anyway, my answer is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.*

* The fact that I have said this kind of thing before and then done a complete U turn and done the opposite thing entirely is totally not relevant here, OK?!

Posted by j at 10:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

Today, I am grumpy.

I think it was the toothache that set it off. Today, I am going to the dentist for something like the 4th time in 3 weeks. For some weird reason, my teeth hurt, but my dentist cannot see anything wrong with them. Anyway, it's starting to keep me awake at night, so this afternoon I am going to make the dentist do something, anything - give me drugs or just pull the darn things out - so that I don't have to see his charmingly smiling face again for another 6 months.

Apart from that, I'm just Generally Grumpy today, too. I don't have 'Hooray It's Friday!'-itis today because I'm on my course all weekend, with no time off before or afterwards. One of the perks of working for yourself (!) Oh well, it could be a lot worse. At least my course is interesting!

On another note, I received this auto-reply email today:

"Dear Sir or Madam

Thank you for your e-mail. Our service standard is to reply to 97% of all correspondence within 10 working days."

Have a happy weekend. Here's a random Flash game recommendation from C, just for fun. Apparently, "you have to help the cute little robot." Enjoy!

Posted by j at 12:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I remember going to work in a really good mood the day after Tony Bliar first came into power 10 years ago. The future seemed so bright, with many possibilities. Great things were promised to us all, and as a naive 22 year old, of course I believed what I read. But now look at us, 10 years and much cynicism later; we're embroiled in an awful, horrible war, and so many of TB's promises have been broken that I struggle to remember one that's been kept.

So that is why I say "hooray!" now that we finally have a date for him to shuffle off and do whatever it is that retired PMs do - bask in the sun in Barbados? Play golf? Give after-dinner speeches? Go and visit Bush on his ranch? Whatever - all I have to say is:

Byeee!

Posted by j at 3:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

... according to Cazz. So here's another game for you! I've not tried it, but C looked absolutely enthralled by it and emailed it to me, so it must be good(!)

In other news, I was rather freaked out this morning to receive something from my old university in the post. While this isn't really a very interesting fact at all, I haven't heard from them for about 10 years or something, and have moved house many times since then, so how the hell did they find me?! It was an invitation to some kind of "postgrad/professional" cheese and wine sort of thing, and I have no idea what they want from me or why they want me there. Anyway, I have no intention of going, and that's final. I just want to know how they know where I live!? Maybe it's cos I'm now on a postgraduate course - at a completely different university - or something like that. I am not impressed!

Weird.

But not as weird as the other thing that someone showed me this week (thanks, S!). I'm not going to go into details but basically I am listed on an online Deaf database which has completely wrong information about me, based on an old magazine interview about my social life in 1995(!) As I can't make the database people take it off, I am now emailing with them to get them to at least change it to something that is true. However, this annoys me too because I don't want to be in someone's stupid database anyway, especially when I don't know about it! Agh!

Sometimes I feel like this world is soooooooo like Big Brother. At least I work from home so I don't get clocked on CCTV 5 million times a day like everyone else. A bleak thought.

And finally, here's a message for OPD: Harry eats very nice dog food and we are quite sure it is fine, BUT we cannot stop him eating all sorts of crap when we go for a walk. He used to be a stray, bless him, and had to fend for himself when he was a wee puppy. We've tried everything but cannot get him to stop, short of sellotaping his mouth shut, poor dog. So, when he farts, it is beyond our control!

So now you know.

Have a happy weekend, all!
xx

Posted by j at 2:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Posted by j at 2:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Asked by none other than Mr Bliar (surprise!):

"How do we protect the principle of ending discrimination against gay people and at the same time protect those vulnerable children who are at the present time being placed through - and after care provided by - Catholic agencies who everyone accepts do a great job with some of the most disturbed youngsters?"

Simple: don't let the Catholic church blackmail you!

This 'leave us out or we'll shut down' attitude really reminds me of how small children sometimes scream and break their toys rather than let the nice kid from next door play with them too.

Harriet Harman talks sense: "You can either be against discrimination or you can allow for it. You can't be a little bit against discrimination."

Precisely! I don't know why it'll take Mr B a week to work that out...

Posted by j at 1:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I've kind of been left open mouthed by a few things that have happened this week.

Firstly, apparently research (sponsored by huge multinational companies whose profits will drop if they have to become more environmentally friendly - spot the bias anyone?!) has 'shown' that global warming is supposedly a hoax. Now, I'm no scientist, but that's the hugest pile of cr*p I've heard all week... in fact, probably for a few years! Here's some questions based on a bit of research of my own:

* How come proper researchers found mountains under ice in Greenland?!

* And islands?! Hello, that is a lot of melting ice, in case no one noticed.

* Why is it raining all the time, with skiing holidays happening later, and mad scary winds blowing in the UK? Why was it really hot last summer?

... because the globe is warming, that's why! I don't get how this is meant to be a hoax?! It's insulting and dangerous to suggest otherwise.

And the other thing that left me open mouthed was that thing that's happening on TV that everyone's noticed even if they don't watch TV, unless they've spent the last week locked in a filing cabinet or something; yes, Celeb Big Brother's Racism/Culture and Class Clash Saga. Even Jack Straw's involved now! Jeesh. I'm so not surprised Carphone Warehouse withdrew their sponsorship. I'm also not surprised there were demos in India. What I am surprised about is how Shilpa manages to be so calm and avoid throwing anything... big up to Shilpa!

Frankly, Jade Goody makes me embarrassed to be British. Jade out! Shilpa for the cup!

...Mind out in the wind, please. And carry on recycling!

Posted by j at 8:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I am being held captive at the moment, so cannot blog. A has posted this message for me in an appeal for help. HELLPPPPPPPPP!!! Bring me back to blogland!

OK, so that's partly a lie. A *has* posted this message for me (I emailed it to her), but I'm not really being held captive. Feels like it, though!

Basically I am having DNS problems with my internet service provider, who are basically the most unhelpful people in the world, and are SO gonna get a complaints letter in the post in January - luckily, I have too much work and stuff to do right now to think about it yet.

This DNS problem means that I cannot see certain random websites:
* Including many of my favourite websites.
* Including my Moveable Type account (the thing I use to write blog postings).
* Also including A's blog, deaf-blogs.com and MY OWN BLOG!

I am powerless. I cannot see SHD! I cannot do parts of my work! I cannot upload my special festive Christmas blog header! I cannot delete my stupid spam comments! Agh! And above all, I am seething because I cannot type a Things That Annoy Me post when I really, really need to do it the most ever! *SCREAMS*

But I CAN blog via A, however, or so it seems. This is a very strange thing indeed - typing words that I will not be able to see online - I'm not entirely sure why I even want to do this, but I do realise that the simple act of typing this blog/email/rant has made me feel better in itself, which can only be a good thing, right?

SIGH.

And if any smart arse wants to suggest ways to sort this stupid problem out, please do feel free to suggest your suggestions (at least the comments on this blog get emailed to me so I'll be able to read them(!)). I have emailed my ISP at least five times, opened three support tickets and phoned them once. The latest report is that the problem is with people in a dept who aren't allowed to communicate with customers directly. And everyone else is asleep (probably).

AGH.

No point wasting energy on this. I have other things to do, so I had better go and do them. Hopefully I'll be able to upload my festive header at some point BEFORE Christmas(!)

So now you know what is what, if you wondered where I am (or if you didn't).

j xx

Posted by alison at 12:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Ask them to vote for a better European law on waste/recycling/etc. It's easy - you don't even need to type anything - just click here and select your MEP from the map. The nice people at Friends of the Earth have already written the email for you to send ;o)

Posted by j at 1:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I hope the blokes who run the world who attend the G7 meeting remember to bring up recycling/environmental issues in USA and China, and not just under 'AOB' either.

Thought for the day: Be careful what you say, FFS!

Grrrrrrrrrr.......................

Posted by j at 9:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

This made me scream AAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH!
This is fab: I got 11, C
Got 10, A got 14, E got 16 and Ce got 8 (though she is a trained typist, and I have now broken the rules of Haiku, so maybe I will start typing proper long blogs again, we'll see...)

Posted by j at 6:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Having blog problems
Now you see it, now you don't.
And I get grumpier...

Posted by j at 9:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

How happy am I
Bliar says he'll be off soon though
Government still rules...

Posted by j at 9:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Sign the petition here to stop cruelty! Poor things :-(

(Hope this makes you a tiny little bit less worried, T?)

Posted by j at 3:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Sooooo I haven't said anything about Big Brother for a while, but that's because a) I do have other things to do and b) blimey, where do you start?!

It's only Day 15 and already three housemates have walked; one cos his mental health was suffering, one cos he was posh and didn't want to be famous (!? eh?!), and the other tried to walk but BB booted her out for breaking the rules, and now she is on a hunger strike until BB gives her footage so that she can prove she was held captive. Yes, really.

The mind boggles!

Meanwhile, we've been 'treated' to two new housemates; a wee gay Scotsman who likes dressing like a lady - no doubt that makes him popular (!) - and a blonde woman who was the subject of one of the most ridiculous stories I've ever read in my life.

Despite the ridiculousness, I still have to say I'm addicted to it, well at least to the Digitalspy net updates and the live shows anyway. Speaking of which, will someone pleassssseeeeeeee vote Sezer out?! Jeez he is such a disrespectful, sexist bully, it's amazing. The best thing is that he thinks he will get to stay, but at the moment he's favourite to go, according to the polls. Well you can never be too sure or depend on the polls, so do me a favour and wipe the smile off his face!

And whatever you do, don't buy a Kit Kat until after 10.20pm tomorrow night, or you might find a golden ticket and have to go and take part in BB! Don't say I didn't warn you.

Posted by j at 6:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

C: I don't hate celery; I just don't like it very much.

Me: Well, I'm sorry but I HATE it.

C: Sighs. Can't you hate it quietly?

Me: Looking at the amount we have in our fridge... no.

Posted by j at 8:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

All of a sudden, my Toxic Waste Neighbours moved out at the weekend, leaving a very big Eco Footprint behind (find yours out here!); including three fucked up lawns (no, it is not ok to drive on grass!?), one petrol covered driveway, a large pile of toxic waste, some scattered random rubbish and an open window.

Goodbye, is all I can say! Goodbye, goodbye, goodbyeeeeeeeeeeeee.

God, I am becoming Victor Meldrew. Well, at least it's for a good reason!

Posted by j at 11:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MORE CELERIAC! PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Posted by j at 5:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

So you thought I was grumpy? Well I'm even grumpier on the Grumpy Old Deafies blog me and A have just set up (OK, maybe not yet, but we will be, trust me!).

Basically we set it up to talk about more Deaf-related things, as we don't particularly feel like using our personal blogs for it. Also, this Shiny Happy blog is kind of private, so I don't want it on the Deaf Blogs aggregator. However, I am quite happy to be a Grumpy Old Deafie in public, so that one will be hooked up.

So go and have a look and see the puppet show that me and C created last night after a few too many - I still laugh every time I see it... yeh am easily pleased(!)

Posted by j at 6:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Just as we were recovering from the news that gay men and lesbians will be allowed to get "married" under Civil Partnerships from December 5th, more gay friendly news came up yesterday!

The government has agreed to accept Stonewall's amendments to the Equality Bill, which means that sometime next year it will become illegal to discriminate against lesbians and gay men in the provision of goods and services... ie hotels, insurance companies, dentists etc will not be allowed to discriminate against us. About time eh!! More info HERE.

Maybe this means that one day soon, The World In General will realise that us queers are as NORMAL and BORING as everyone else. Honestly, I don't see what all the fuss is about in the first place...

Posted by j at 1:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

*SULKS*

A is being very very nice and patient and geeky and doing all sorts of scary technical things that I don't understand, including changing the blog and making me use a different thing (Moveable Type, not WordPress) to type it in. Well she didn't MAKE me...

I know this is the way forward and I should use Moveable Type cos all the cool people like Dooce and A and R and everyone do but it's confusing and I'm tired cos I just had a long day at work and I'm old and too set in my ways and I don't like change and I like my picture at the top of the blog (no it's NOT an airport) and I want it back and and and and .... oh god I almost stopped breathing then.

*SCREAMS*

A has just changed the blog from purple to green.

*SHAKES*

I am grateful. I appreciate it.

*BREATHES IN*

I am sure I will understand this one day (and be very embarrassed by this post)

*BREATHES OUT*

Fuck that, I am off to make coleslaw!

Posted by j at 6:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I know in many ways recycling is really boring but it's worth writing a blog about simply because it's so important. Just think - if we don't recycle, then our rubbish ends up in places like this, which isn't very nice, and also means we have to breathe in loads of poisonous gases. And it's also more expensive. Stupid eh.

I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I do try to do my bit. We've got 7 bins in our house, for heaven's sake(!)

Apart from George Bush and other Americans who refused to sign up to the Kyoto Treaty and make the world a better place, the worst people for not recycling seem to be my neighbours, who inspired me to write this blog entry. They simply don't seem to realise:

a) YOU CAN RECYCLE METAL CANS!
b) IF YOU ONLY USE YOUR BLACK BIN, YOUR RUBBISH WON'T BE RECYCLED!
and c) YOU ARE NOT GOD! GET ON WITH IT.

FFS. Well I'm sure you nice people reading my blog don't want to be like George Bush or my neighbours, and thus responsible for big piles of smelly rubbish in big smelly holes. Don't you? I don't! There's a list of fantastic tips here!

A Rant A Day Keeps The Doctor Away ;)

Posted by j at 10:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

The RNId's website claims that it is CHANGING THE WORLD FOR DEAF AND HARD OF HEARING PEOPLE. Funny that, cos I never noticed anything different. And it might just be my imagination, but I don't remember anyone ever asking if I wanted my world changed in the first place? I don't think they've asked my mates either - or I'd never hear the end of it.

Besides, how can a multi-million pound worthy charity run by a medical doctor and other hearing people ever claim to represent DEAF AND HARD OF HEARING PEOPLE? The mind boggles.

I used to demo about things like this, but then I got tired. Now, I'm happy to sit and type rude things here, and have the RNId Robot fingerspell them for me. See- I'm still immature ;)

Well, for now anyway.

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Posted by j at 5:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)