This is what happened when I tried to book my first appointment with our local doctor:
Stony faced receptionist: (Crossly) Hello.
Me: Hello. I'd like to book an appointment, please.
Her: (Sighs) Oh, OK.
Me: Sometime tomorrow or Thursday would be good, please. And I would prefer a female doctor if possible because they're easier to lipread, but I don't mind really.
Her: Hjhjhjkykyn luik,jkluim derewfghn nnnhg.
Me: Sorry, I'm Deaf. Can you repeat that please?
Her: It's half term. I don't think there'll be anything, but I'll have a look. [TYPES] No, there's nothing.
Me: Nothing for tomorrow or Thursday?
Her: No.
Me: What about Friday?
Her: (Sighs) I'll have a look. [TYPES] No.
Me: Nothing?
Her: No.
Me: Well, when's your next appointment then?
Her: Well, you know, it's half term so they're all off. [TYPES] Monday.
Me: OK so right, Monday...
Her: I'll just have a look at the other surgery for you. But I don't think they'll have anything either.
Me: Oh, right, OK thanks!
Her: [TYPES] No. Nothing.
Me: Nothing at all? Not tomorrow or Thursday?
Her: No.
Me: Er, what about Friday?
Her: (Sighs) Let me see. [TYPES] No.
Me: So there's nothing at all?
Her: No.
Me: OK, then right. Can I just summarise... you don't have any appointments at all until Monday?
Her: No.
Me: So. OK. I'll book one for Monday then, please!
Her: (Sighs) OK. [TYPES] OK. Dr Hghjg Kgjdsfd at 3pm then.
Me: Great thanks! Is it a woman doctor?
Her: No.