.... random rants and rambles. no agenda. yet.

I know, I know. I haven't blogged since like, forever. There's even snow on the header photo! But anyway, I'm not going to sit here and write excuses. Who cares, anyway? I know you all care much more about the transformation of our garden. Well, you can always see the transformation of The Boy here.

So, yeah, here it is as it used to be - kind of without agenda and not very practical:

And then we got a landscaper and his Assistant Youth to come and drill through 12 inches of concrete (though the youth also spent a considerable amount of time asleep in their wheelbarrow. For real.) ...

They also put up a fence and railway sleepers, and we faffed around planting things...

Which have grown, and grown, although unfortunately, the fence still hasn't painted itself.

... so if anyone would like to come and paint it, you would be MOST WELCOME.

In other Before And After News, my Dad had the genius idea of having Harrythedog's hair cut, because the poor hound has never had it cut and has always been hot. It was one of those things we wished we'd thought of before. Years ago.

So today, lovely Harrythedog was transformed from this:

To this (much too excited to pose for a photo now):

Instead of looking older and fatter as we predicted, he looks about 5 years younger and 5 pounds slimmer. Ahhh!

And in OTHER Before And After News - wait! there is more! - in a week's time, C, The Boy and I have the very good fortune to be going to Canada. Part work, part play; all exciting and quite unbelieveable.

So, because when we toured Scotland a few years ago (before blogging and Twitter and stuff) I wasted all the photos I took and the notes that I WROTE ON PAPER! WITH A PEN! ...I am not making the same mistake again. If you click here you'll see where I'll be blogging to in Canada, and maybe after. Who knows? I don't.

Why there? For various technical reasons - all of which are boring.

Well, there you go. I blogged. I'm off to lie down now.

Posted by j at 9:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Happy 2010!

Hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas and new year... me, C and The Boy did, although sadly we have yet to make it up to Berwick, which is covered in knee deep snow; perhaps the third time we try will be the lucky time? It had better be! We'll see.

So anyway, I don't have many words today because I am officially a Crap Blogger. However, I do have photos, so feast your eyes below (of course, The Boy can always be seen here. I'm not THAT crap!):

Unsurprisingly, it's snowed a lot here.

Many times!

And our back garden looked pristine and perfect (until Harrythedog and the window cleaner stomped all over it - YES! THE WINDOW CLEANER! No shorts, thankfully).

We've seen loads and loads of geese; flying in the air (as seen in my new 2010 header!); camping behind our house, where the grass is, apparently, tastier...

... and clustered in the canal.

Yes, I am a geese geek. So what?

Oh, and our good old car reached 100,000 miles. Hooray!

Posted by j at 6:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Umm yes, Hebden Bridge is a dangerous, dodgy place where gangs throw trainers on telephone lines to show where crack dealers live - as evidenced here, and believed by C (my theory is that someone took the piss out of a drunken teenager).

That was just an overdue random observation of no significance, by the way.

Another random issue: The wedding video which 'disappeared' off my last post can be seen on YouTube here. Enjoy!

My brain is too full to throw up any other news of importance, apart from the fact that I currently have Office Rage. My PGDip portfolio is drawing to an end (hoof*ingray!), which has had a direct impact on the office, which is currently a disorganised, slightly dishevelled heap of cables, filming and computer equipment, papers, books, more papers, baby clothes for Freecycle, and, er, a trampoline.

Don't ask. Just call Kim and Aggie.

Posted by j at 6:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Oh, no. My head is largely preoccupied by the above cuteness that demands to be played with and changed and jiggled to sleep.

And when I'm not doing that I'm busy FINISHING my PGDip portfolio that I have delayed for, oh, about a year or more. It is not going to go away, and strangely enough, The Boy is quite a good motivator because a) he has another mum who can also do jiggling and b) the sooner I HAND IT IN ALREADY, the sooner I can co-jiggle.

Oh, and I'm also on Twitter quite a lot, talking nonsense. Just so you know. It's much better than F@cebook.

Posted by j at 5:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Goodness me, the wastage. What's wrong with Freecycling a good old telly?!

(*As spotted at a recycling centre in Devon. Yes, I do go and take photos at random recycling centres when I'm on holiday; I'm funny like that.)

Posted by j at 4:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Oh yeah.

As most of the world already knows, the above bundle of cuteness came into our lives at 2.09am on Sunday 15th March. And after that, life just became a confusing, chaotic flurry of awakeness, nappies, screaming, occasional and valued peace, pee fountains, poop mountains, cry monsters (how these words got into my vocabulary, I do not know, but I have a feeling they're here for a while) and God knows what else.

Oh, and joy. Joy is the top of the list, of course!

Joy is closely followed by forgetfulness - C and I are constantly trying and failing to remember what we're doing, what we've eaten and what day of the week it is. Lack of sleep does that to you. Just a few minutes ago, for example, I found myself gazing at my monitor and wondering why, then "You're writing a blog, J. A blog!" came into my head and here I am.

So, if you have emailed me in the last week or so, please don't expect a reply for the next 20,000 years. I know you don't anyway, but still. I'm too busy wandering around in an amazed and joyous daze, dodging pee fountains (missed once so far) and remembering which planet I'm on.

I thank you, and goodnight.

Posted by j at 7:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Yes, I know. It's February 2009 - hardly an ideal time to be blogging about something I finished doing last year but didn't finish uploading until yesterday. Oh well. Life happens.

I am of course talking about Project Tuesday, the thing where I decided to take a photo out of our bedroom window every Tuesday morning between about 8.30 and 10am, depending on what time I remembered, what I was doing, and other variables. I only forgot ONCE and took it the following day instead, and when I was on holiday someone else humoured me and took my Tuesday photo for me.

Why? Because I am a geek.

I'm still not sure whether it's science or art, and I was a bit annoyed how boringly samesamesame the weather was last year - especially because this year it's been soooo, um, interesting - but I was quite pleased by the result, which you can see here (it's probably worth clicking on 'slideshow' if you want to burn a couple of Friday afternoon minutes).

So yeah, the weather was all samesamesame and yeah, I could have tidied up the framing a bit, but at least it's all natural and I didn't run them through Photoshop to add tigers and other exciting things. Lack of excitement notwithstanding, C and I were rather astonished to see how fast everything grew and then crumpled up into lovely brown heaps, and then disappeared.

So, is it science?
Is it art?
What should I do with it, if anything?

And, should I do this and take a baby photo every day for 365 days? Not yet, of course - 14 days to go now...

Posted by j at 10:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

... or so says the MET office. What's the difference between fog and mist anyway?!

I guess more snow will just disguise the huge sheets of ice paving this area. Scary. I almost slid faaar down the hill the other day, and would have ended up in an undignified (and painful) heap if I hadn't grabbed at the nearest parked car. Harrythedog was not impressed.

Posted by j at 3:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Just think - as C said excitedly afterwards - next year we'll have a baby to take the piss out of. Woo!

Posted by j at 12:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)

... or something. How mysterious is that?!

And, despite accusations that I'm following those geese around Hebden (as if I don't have anything better to do), I must repeat that it's actually THEM who are following ME, as illustrated in my new header photo, which was taken from INSIDE the Thai restaurant on Friday night.

I was there first. They followed. I have witnesses!

More soon. Meanwhile, I have to stem the flow of pre-Christmas work that is streaming in and somersaulting on my desk. Fun!

Posted by j at 12:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Things For Geese To Do In Hebden Bridge (2): Go ice-skating on the canal when it's frozen.

(I'm not a goose stalker! Honest. I just happened to see them again this morning..!)

Posted by j at 11:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Not bad for a phone camera, huh?

Gritters of Calderdale, I salute you.

Posted by j at 12:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

If you are reading this today, you are probably sitting somewhere which is minus something in temperature, like me, and you may even have FROST ON YOUR MOBILE PHONE like Ce, who obviously works somewhere with dodgy heating.

So yeah, it is freezing here. We had to hack our way into the car this morning, and could only open the driver's door, so I had to push the front passenger door open with all of my body weight so that C and the dog could get in. Luckily, I remembered to bring the anti freeze into the house in case we're presented with a big ice block with wheels tomorrow morning.

And then when I'd battled my way out of the car again and was walking the dog in Hebden, I passed the police station and saw four geese scuttling out of the forecourt gate, as if one of them had just been released on bail and they were getting the hell away before the cops changed their minds. They then proceeded to waddle across the road, creating a minor traffic jam and attracting a small crowd of amused admirers, including me.

Only in Hebden.

I then realised that I'd seen goose shit in St George's Square the other day, and it dawned on me that they'd been evicted from their regular home by the canal because there's a big sewage works going on at the moment, so they probably have nowhere to go. I guess the cop shop's as good a place as any if you want a peaceful night's sleep (!)

Ahh, the poor geese though. They are fierce and hissy sometimes, but I do feel sorry for them, wandering around rather blindly. So, when I saw them creating yet another traffic jam, I texted C and asked if she thought I should email the local environmental warden and tell him my concerns, but she texted back, "No! He's not Chief Goose Warden!" and I realised she was right - as usual - and if I emailed him, he'd just think I was one of those annoying Victor Meldrew types, if he doesn't already.

But please, if you are driving through Hebden anytime soon, keep your eyes open for a gaggle of geese rushing down the road. Ahhh!

Posted by j at 10:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

when you can see the moon at 5pm.

Perhaps the only advantage of having a dog that takes ages and ages to pee when it's freezing outside and you're ill and wishing he didn't need to sniff every single blade of grass before selecting one to pee on is that while you're standing waiting for him, you notice the beauty of your surroundings and nip to get your camera in an attempt to share them with everyone else.

And perhaps that was the world's longest sentence. Hooray!

Posted by j at 5:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

He may be getting old, but Harrythedog still loves a good runaround, even if he does get a bit stiff afterwards. And, as it's autumn (and there's a new autumnal header on this blog), there's nothing better than a good battle with a poor, unsuspecting stick. Like so...

... I never did understand dogs' obsession with sticks - C tells me that it's something to do with how wolves cleaned their teeth many years ago, or something like that.

And now I must go to bed because C is playing a computer game on the desk that adjoins mine, and it's making weird noises. Not that I would usually know or care, but her speakers are vibrating on my desk, so every few seconds I get a kind of BEEP and I look at her and she's staring intently at her screen, with an expression that would be more fitting to someone who was writing a serious, important document, not playing a Gorillaz bomb game.

Besides, Harrythedog wants us to get the hell out of HIS office so that he can sleep.

Posted by j at 10:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

That's where I am now, because I'm fortunate enough to have a portable business and a hotel with wifi. Oh joy. I've never been here before, which is always something that's mystified me, but I love it so much that I'm glad it's my first time. Let's just say that if I'd come here as a 19 year old like everyone else, I think I might have stayed forever.

But now that I'm old, I'm in a completely different kind of Amsterdam to the one above, and went to see Anne Frank Huis yesterday, fighting back the tears and taking quite a few deep breaths in the process. If you're ever here, go there.

One of the most amazing thing about this place, however, is the sheer number of bikes. I've never seen so many! If anyone ever tells you they are everywhere in Amsterdam, THEY ARE NOT JOKING. There are so many that you have to step carefully all the time, looking in about three directions at once. People carry each other on them, smoke fags on them, and even text each other while cycling madly down the road. Bikes are the kings and queens of this place.

Here's a few photos to illustrate my point:

... and here's my favourite one (!)

All together now, AHHHHHHHHHHH.

Have a great weekend!

Posted by j at 10:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I am ever so proud to announce that CE is the winner of last week's photo caption competition, with the clever caption; "Oh bugger, they caught me practising my stealth crawl! I was planning on crawling behind the sofa and giving my mummies a fright by pouncing up on them from the back whilst they watch TV!"

Ce's prize will be winging its way to her very soon. Jealous? Here's your chance to upstage Ce and win THIS week's competition* which was C's idea.

Hooray for the first ever PHOTO TUESDAY SPOT THE DIFFERENCE!

Post your entries in the comment box below! And yes, cheating is allowed.

So there you go. Something to do on a lovely summer afternoon when you're stuck in the office feeling all grumpy because you SO wish you could be outside doing nice summertime things instead. Rebel! Now!

(And YES, I should be working. Er, byee.)

* Winners of previous SHD competitions (i.e. Ce and OPD) and members of the SHD household (i.e. C) and any employees (umm, no) are not eligible for any prizes, even if they enter and are so brilliant that they should win. No, no more prizes. Sorry!

Posted by j at 10:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (19)

Today I took even more photos. Several billion, in fact, just in case the nice people at The Hebden List want some too. Anyway, I made a very small slideshow with some of them (it's about 25 seconds long) and if you want to see it and try and spot C, click here to download it - it's a video file and I totally can't be arsed to stick it on YouTube.

We had fun, but NO MORE CARS!

Posted by j at 5:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

If you look carefully at the above photo, you will see a huge alsatian filling up the back seat. Or maybe not. But it is there!

And why have I got a photo of an old car with a dog in it on my blog? Good question.

When Ce asked me what I was doing at the weekend, she and A both fell about laughing when I said I might be going to the local vintage car exhibition thingy (blaming it on C, of course) and THEN they said I must blog about it. Must, must, must. Can't get any sense out of some people.

So anyway, I have zero interest in cars, but I am a great fan of weekends being as relaxing and weekend-like as possible. Besides, there's something quite intriguing and cool about old cars, and if something like that was going on in your local town, you might pop along of an afternoon, right? Come on, you would.

And that was what C and I aimed to do today, except our oven managed to conk out last night after playing havoc with our electricity for the last few weeks, so we had to go and get a new one, and by the time we got back it was far too late to go and stand around looking at old cars.

Cutting a long story short, that is why we decided to do a photo walk instead (or rather, I took my camera along when we walked Harrythedog) and captured a few home-bound cars doing what cars do best (pollute the environment!)...

... tomorrow, there will be old fire engines and things. Hooray!

Posted by j at 6:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

This is my very favourite Harrythecat pose because he looks weird but ahh at the same time, kind of like he's doing cat yoga. (And in case anyone was wondering, the red thing next to him is a rose petal from the bush outside..!)

Humour me, please - post a caption below - come on, you know you want to!

Oh yes, you do.

Posted by j at 3:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

... EVEN IF YOU'RE A DOG PERSON LIKE ME?!

Go on, I dare you to tell me.

I DARE you.

Ha!

Posted by j at 1:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)

Is it normal for cats' whiskers to measure around 8 inches long? Yes, 8 inches. If not, I am contacting the Guinness Book of Records.

Posted by j at 10:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

When we went away, our tomato plants were about 4 inches tall. 10 days later, this is what they looked like:

I suspect KR and Ce may have fed them with something other than water.

On a similar note, my Mum was right - trees grow leaves overnight. It's true! Blink and you'll miss them. We can't MOVE for leaves here. Honest.

Posted by j at 3:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

You know how when you're off on holiday, your brain slowly starts to shut down and then unravels as you realise you are going to have a break and not have to work hard or whatever, even though if you weren't going on holiday, you would probably be fine and bite your lip and get on with things as usual, with the typical British Upper Lip Thingy?

Maybe, maybe not.

Anyway, that's how I feel right now. The good part is that C just reminded me that this time tomorrow we'll be in France so I can unravel by the pool.

And no, I probably won't be blogging. If you're stuck for something do to (which you may well be if you're here reading this in the first place), have a look at my nerdish Project Tuesday, complete with "clever" comments from A, who is masquerading on Flickr as gretag, in case you hadn't guessed. It's probably easiest just to play the slideshow, but obviously it hasn't finished cooking yet because, well, it's May and not December.

Is it science? Is it art? Who knows. It's doing wonders for my patience.

So, byeeee! And don't worry. KR is doing next Tuesday's Project photo in my absence, as well as all Harry-related duties. KR and Ce rock!

Posted by j at 3:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Am I glad it's the weekend? Very glad. I'm especially glad because me and C spent a lot of last weekend Doing Things, and this weekend the only thing we're doing is going to see this play, which should be quite exciting, partly because I've never seen subtitled theatre before.

I digress. One of the things we Did last weekend was spend a lot of time skidding about in the mud picking up loads of rubbish that stupid people had thrown all over the nice countryside. No, we didn't lose our minds, we joined in our local Clean Up thingy, along with quite a lot of other people who agree that people who throw rubbish all over the countryside are stupid. Me and C were lucky enough (!) to get a whole patch of our own at the bottom of a slope, which looked like this when we started:

Well, actually, that's only about 20% of it all. And that bike was HEAVY, but kind of useful, as I used it as a kind of pick to jam into the ground and hang onto when I was skidding back up the slope again. No idea if that made sense, but it's what I did. Oh, and the speaker (the black box thing in the photo) was EXTRA HEAVY, and kind of fell apart on the way up the slope, taking me back down with it about 3 times.

Which brings me to ask: WHY go to all the bother of dragging a really, really heavy professional DJ's speaker along a countryside path and then pushing it down a slope, where it stays for a few years before some stupid person (i.e. me) comes along and almost breaks her leg dragging it back up and sticking it in a skip? Seriously... why?!

People are weird.

But that's not the weirdest thing we found... there were several bikes, a fridge, a mouldy old dartboard, a cooker, a sewing machine, millions of cans and crisp packets and God knows what else, all strewn across the countryside. And. That. Makes. Me. Mad.

Here's some of the evidence:

And when we had finished our patch, it looked like this:

I can't tell you how satisfying that was. Like I said, people are weird.

Posted by j at 5:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

This evening, Brian decided to move in, for reasons known only to himself. He is showing no desire to leave. Kind of like a sit-in. And yes, Harrythecat looks furious. Mind you, Harrythecat's default expression is furious.

Oh dear.

Posted by j at 7:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

It's snowing...

... and this weekend, C and I are way too knackered to do anything or go anywhere (that's what overtime does to you when you're our age!) so we decided to stay home and grow things.

OK, to be more exact, we've planted things rather than grown them, because that's the part you have to do first. So, yeah, our newly chitted seed potatoes are planted, but we had to keep bringing them in because of the snow, so we've kind of given up and they're in the utility room for now until it looks more like April again.

Along with the potatoes, we've planted tomatoes, sweetpeas and various other flowers, mushrooms, crystals and, er, an envelope. But it's no ordinary envelope - after all, how could A possibly consider giving me a birthday card in an ORDINARY envelope?! - it's a special Florelope made from sheep's poo and seeds (only in Wales!) and if we water it and everything, it'll turn into flowers! O-K-K-K-K.

Sooooooo... in the absence of any instructions, said envelope was optimistically ripped into several pieces:

... and then arranged as so:

... then covered in compost.

Now this is the part where we cross our fingers and hope for the best, at the same time as feeling slightly suspicious that this is all a con and well, who plants envelopes?! Er, us.

A's Dad, ever the cynic, thinks they'll come up as dandelions, but I'm secretly hoping for something like the ones on our kitchen table at the moment:

Who knows?

Posted by j at 4:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Spotted in the Calder countryside this afternoon...

I think someone got something wrong somewhere?!

Posted by j at 4:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

It's amazing, the amount of crap that people have thrown on the canal to try and break the ice:

Well, it didn't work. Not even this Christmas tree worked (I know, I know)...

To be fair, though, it probably doesn't weigh nearly as much as it used to, seeing as it's so old and shrivelled and crispy now. Poor thing!

In other news, C and I have realised with much fascination that as our house is south-facing and we live on a hill, we're also on "the right side of the valley". This means we get plenty of sun but if we look out of the window over to the other side of the hill (a mile or so away), everything's frozen and freezing and might as well be in another country. Seriously.

And yes, I know - I'm meant to have blogged about the fifth and last Geocache that we found a week ago. So here is photographic evidence:

Doesn't he look proud?! And so he should, because it was hidden in a really-hard-to-find place, in the middle of nowhere, with lots of rocks and bushes and not even a path. Well, we had to get rid of that blasted Mickey Mouse travel bug thingy that we've had for waaay too long... the Geocaching people will not be happy with us! Now we are travel bug-free and relieved (I wouldn't let C pick up either of the two that were in the cache!)

When we'd done that, we went for a walk on the moors and got a bit lost - as we usually do - which was slightly scary* but excellent for the old stress levels, because if all you can see is this...

... what is there to worry about?

* In my view, the scariest things about moors are boggy bits, which must be crossed either by running lightly or walking very slowly and carefully, depending on various things, just in case you sink in the mud or get chased by a spook. Running aimlessly in a blind panic screaming "CLAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIREEEEEE!" is not advised, because it means you'll lose your sense of direction and henceforth your mind.

So yeah. there are some things to worry about on moors. Luckily, that day was bog-free.

Finally, because this is turning into a really long ramble with no aim, if anyone is thinking of going to see I Am Legend [warning: link makes a noise!], I thoroughly recommend it. Me and C went to see it at the local cinema the other day, and it was SCARY. So scary that we both screamed in places, which was a bit embarrassing, especially as there was an old lady there on her own - on her own?! - and stuff. C was freaked out because no-one told her there were flesh eating zombies in it (you've been warned!) and even more freaked out by the fact that I knew, and I still went along and watched it.

I can be brave sometimes.

Posted by j at 6:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This is an example of typical office life a la Team H@Do*:

He seems to be fixated by my desktop wallpaper, which is this fantastic photo of C doing a snow angel (you're never too old!) a couple of weeks ago**:

Oh, the wonders of modern catology.

* Feel free to visit our most excellent website. No, this is not a shameless advertising ploy. We do do free stuff too!

** Note to self: SORT OUT FLICKR! SOON!

Posted by j at 4:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I know I am 32. But snow is funnnnnnnnnn!

Posted by j at 9:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

OK, so Mr Cousin kicked my ass and told me to link to Mrs Cousin's excellent new doula website, so I just did. (And in case you don't know what a doula does, they're like midwives, but nicer. I think. That's not to say midwives aren't nice, of course. I should probably stop here.)

So anyway, I thought I might as well do a complete spring clean of my wayyyyy olddddd links, so if you look to the right of your screen, you will find them. And yes, I know they are rather untidy. I like them like that!

And, for the record, the water has gone down and you can hardly tell there was a flood yesterday, except it's a bit muddy and stuff, and in places it looks like someone threw a huge bucket of water down the road.

Funnily enough, we've been meaning to buy wellies for a while now, seeing as we spend so much time tramping around in the mud with the dog and stuff like that. After yesterday, our need for wellies has become urgent - if you can have a Welly Emergency, we're close to having one - but now all the local shops have sold out. Seriously. Even the "youths" wear them around here... which means we can't be THAT uncool.

In other completely unrelated news, we saw the very good The Golden Compass with subtitles on Sunday, at our local cinema, which is a darn sight better than the ones in Preston (it sells cups of tea! in proper cups! imagine! L and A were thrilled, and C was jealous because she didn't get one)... not to mention nearer. Oh, the irony.

As well as that, this morning, I was very pleased and rather taken aback to find that one of the women who works in the local greengrocer's can sign, and remembered enough to have a conversation, despite not having signed for 10 years.

This place constantly intrigues me.

Posted by j at 6:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Note how you can barely tell the difference between the road and the river, which is scarily high behind the wall - it seems to have risen a good few feet...

... On the way down the hill (we were walking the dog, alright!) we bumped into a neighbour who excitedly informed us that all of the shops in Mytholmroyd are closed except for Sainsbury's, where she works, which is "just" open because it's got more steps. We also saw someone bleakly bailing buckets and buckets of water out of their house. Right now I am just glad we live on a hill, and feel really sorry for those who don't.

More later, maybe.

Posted by j at 12:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Posted by j at 4:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Can anyone see a dry stone wall at the top of this blog? Let me know if you can, because I can't, and it's supposed to be there because it's my new header. Oh well - it's my own fault for being too lazy to go and get the external hard drive, plug it in and blahhhhhh *snips boring details*

So. Christmas is officially over. Our decorations are down, largely helped by Harry the cat, who (we suspect) knocked over our tree while we were out shopping the other day. This wouldn't have been quite so dramatic if a) the tree hadn't been 7 feet tall; b) it hadn't narrowly missed my new digital photo frame, C's new internet radio and our glass coffee table; and c) it hadn't happened on January 4th, which is the day that decorations are traditionally meant to come down. Spoooooky.

Herewith the dramatic evidence (*note the industrial-sized tin of Quality Street, brought by Ce, as it is an Essential Christmas Item. The tin no longer contains Quality Street. Hooray!):

Angel Number 1 landed flat on her face...

... while Angel Number 2 managed to stay upright, entangled in a mass of Christmas Tree Debris...

The cat rounded off his vandalism spree by throwing his bed halfway across the room and relocating to the dog's bed instead. Quite what was going through his mind, I don't know... maybe it was something to do with the fact that he's only just started to go outside, but it's too wet and cold to be fun, so he's sulking. Whatever.

In other news, me, C and Harry the dog - obviously - have bravely ignored my injured foot and managed to rack up about 10 miles' worth of canal towpath walking in the last couple of weeks. That's actually 20 miles if you consider how we do it on a there-and-back basis... only another 21 miles to Manchester (and a further 21 miles back). Hahahaha.

So anywayyyyyy I have to go and do more useful things, which means I need to make a pile of things to Freecycle because they are being replaced by new items, and because we now have millions of plates all over the place and C is trying patiently to do a jigsaw but there isn't room.

Ah, the trivial side of life. I like it!

Posted by j at 6:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

It's official: Mr Corbett is a geek.

Herewith more evidence...

He loves computers, and kindly sent me into a panic tonight by walking across the laptop and turning the Number Lock on, which took me 5 minutes to work out. So... his new Favourite Place is the space between two computers - one dead [I thank you again for your recommendation, Joe!], one alive - which is much better than the dog's bed...

...so much better, in fact, that he has to be dragged away from the desk in order to come downstairs and be sociable and watch TV with us all. Ring any bells?!

I wonder if this all has some kind of hidden meaning? Or maybe it just means that cats are weird.

Posted by j at 8:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

First off, please admire our fine Christmas tree decor:

Will probably post a photo of it in its entirety - if anyone is remotely interested - when our angels are ready for the top. But they aren't yet. Instead, we have some groovy new LED lights, which make our living room look like a nightclub most of the time (only C knows how to switch on the 'peacefully glowing' setting).

HOWEVER, our neighbours are crazy for Christmas lights. Crazy, ker-azeeeee, indeed. We tried to get evidence, but taking photos from a moving car is not easy (I don't share C's view that it is perfectly normal and acceptable to walk down the street and stand in front of my neighbour's house with a camera, like some kind of paparazzi person)... however, I think this picture gives a pretty good idea of HOW crazy they are:

Yeees. Every single time I pass their house, my breath is taken away. Wow.

In other festive news, Ce has kindly elfed me and C, which can be seen here by anyone who wants to laugh at us (we did, several times).

And A has kindly sent us some cat nip, which looks suspiciously like a bunch of old herbs, and may or may not save our furniture - I haven't had time to put some in an old sock and wave it around in front of the cat's face as instructed - cat fans, you will be updated.

Have a happy weekend, all!

Posted by j at 5:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

To cut a long, long story short, yesterday we went to a cat rescue place in search of a 3-legged cat called Mandu, but ended up with a different cat, who has 4 legs and is much less grumpy and scary. In fact, he isn't grumpy or scary at all, and is very nice indeed. So without further ado, here he is!

His name? Harry. Oh yes, it is.

As Harry is 12, and has been called Harry for 12 years (as far as we know), we don't feel it's very polite to change his name now. So Harry stays Harry, and the other Harry (who has been Harry for 10 years) also stays Harry. It has been a very Harry-ed weekend, and rather confusing. My sis, who was staying with us, remarked how it's a bit like the two Ronnies. So, for obvious reasons, we have given them surnames, thus "upgrading" them to Harry Barker and Harry Corbett (if anyone wants to know which is which, I will be surprised). They sound like a pair of old men, which is kind of what they are... we're joking that Mr Corbett is here for his retirement, and so he is.

And do our two elderly gentlemen get on? Err, not really. Not yet, anyway. Mr Barker was delighted to see Mr Corbett, who did not share his view, hissing evilly at him in disgust. Mr Corbett, however, seems to really like me and C, which is a little surprising, but helps a lot.

Maybe we'll just call him H.

PS: For the record, we also went geocaching, but couldn't find caches 5 and 6 because the map and the land totally didn't match and we were cold and wet and muddy, so we took wee sis to see geocache 4 instead, and made her find it. She was thrilled.

Posted by j at 7:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

... but you can't take the journo out of the girl.

Yes, I know I have been a terrible blogger of late, partly because I haven't had time and partly because I haven't been in the mood. While this does not actually matter at all, it matters to me because it's my blog, and because I make the mistake of promising to blog about things. And I don't like breaking promises.

So all the Things I Have Been Meaning To Blog About have piled up and become a completely random list for me to get out of my system in one mixed up, incoherent blog post. Which is what I am doing now.

So, this is the part where you start reading something else instead.

First up: The Mystery Object!
OKKKKKKK, fact fans. It was a medieval bee hive. How could you not have known that?! Still, it was fun reading the many confused comments that resulted (and worrying - Ce, I don't think a bee is an animal?!). And in case you don't believe me, Ce dug up these links (cheers!).

RIght. NOW you know.

Secondly, I have another mystery object.
No, really. We got it in the post, and haven't a clue what it is, so decided to stick it on here and see if anyone else does...! Here it is:

It's made of rubber, thus is not what C thought it might be, i.e. something to open cans with (!) Any ideas?! We need to know.

Thirdly, we found the unfindable Geocache the other day.
Yes, we went all the way up that big hill again to find this...

Of course, it contained a travel bug - that's the blurred Mickey Mouse figure you can see on the left - which has come all the way from USA and is now in our kitchen. Thinking of dragging C&J up another big hill to dispose of it (and thus escape the clutches of travel bugs) when they come this weekend, if they let us. And if it isn't snowing!

We were going to do that the other day after finding the above cache, but it was getting dark so we hurried down the hill instead. I did get some nice photos, though, like this:

and this.

Finally, I have too many other things to blog about so I am just going to list some of them here instead (not in any particular order).

* Me and C saw a deer from the kitchen window the other day, running across the field.
* The deer was being chased by a dog.
* We didn't see either of them again, but are sure they are fine.
* We also saw a woodpecker the other day, which makes a change from seeing cats killing things.
* In addition to the sweet grey neighbourhood cat, Pussy, who has adopted us, we might be getting a new cat.
* It's a bit fierce, and has three legs.
* However, we don't know yet.
* If we do, it'll be the third animal we have offered to home in the last week.
* The other two are homed elsewhere. Long story!
* After giving away nearly all of our belongings on Freecycle, we won a breadmaker the other day!
* And this morning I won a nice blue cupboard, which should fit exactly into the empty space in the spare room.
* I don't know what I'll do if it doesn't.
* The electrician is coming soon for the 5th or 6th time in the last month, because the downstairs lights don't work at the moment.
* The electrician is really cool, but I'm sick of seeing him!
* I typed all of this blog post and the other one from my bed because I am not feeling very well at the moment.
* I could use some sympathy.
* I'm sick of making lists so I'll stop now.

... Now that's all out of my system, I can sleep easy. And I probably don't need to blog again for about 7 years. Hooray.

Posted by j at 5:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (19)

Me and A were lucky enough to get places at BarCamp Leeds on Saturday, which was rather scary, but really good all the same. We were worried we weren't geek enough, but A managed to camouflage any perceived non-geekness (A?! ha!) by having the same laptop as everyone else* and making intelligent comments from time to time.

[* As predicted, almost everyone had a Mac, and most people who didn't had a Vaio, except me. I may have had the biggest laptop in the room - and big is not good, geekwise - BUT I need a big one because it helps me to translate from BSL to English. And I hate Apple. So there!]

So anyway, we had a fab time, watching presentations on TV3 (net based TV with bells on), how to make a company grow via 2.0 marketing, and edocr. There was also meant to be a live joint presentation with the guys at BarCamp Ottowa, but it didn't work out, despite much effort on both sides. Oh well. Finally, we accidently found ourselves watching a really hardcore tech presentation on human-computer interraction (HCI for those in the know(!!)) given by a very enthusiastic fast talking man who managed to squeeze just about all of the remaining energy out of C and Jacks, who were terping like their lives depended on it. Round of applause to them - they did a fab job, even impressing the geeks, especially the one who admired Jacks' sign for algorithm. Wow.

Other good things included:
1) The fact that it was an 'unconference', and really informal.
2) Everyone was proper nice.
3) The food was great and very generous.
4) The organisation was also fantastic.
5) It was free. Did I mention that? It was all free. Including a free mug each.

And here are some bad webcam shots.

Better pictures (i.e. other people's) here. Big thanks to the BarCamp Leeds people!

Posted by j at 4:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

It's official: My job description now includes ripening tomatoes. And very exciting it is too! Seriously.

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Tonight after work we had to go and pick up a fireguard I'd claimed on Freecycle for a friend who needs one, which involved driving to Bradford and rooting around behind someone's bins to find where she'd left it, then trying not to laugh at the idea that her neighbours probably thought we were burglars. As you do.

And while we were there, we decided to get rid of the Travel Bug that we found on Sunday because I felt like we were holding a relay baton and had to get rid of it quickly as possible. So we went Geocaching again, this time in a park, keeping an eye out for 'geomuggles' (innocent passers by), making sure they didn't spot C poking around in a bush like a madwoman.

And did we find the cache? We did.

And guess what was in it? Another Travel Bug...

This innocent looking plastic frog (it's upside down in the photo, sorry, and the camera battery died before I could turn it over) originated in America, travelled to Canada and spent a while travelling around Australia before moving to the park in Bradford that we found it in. It's travelled over 23,000 miles, and now it's in our kitchen!

Re-spect.

Posted by j at 6:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

(Yes, that means you, Joe) Click here to see the mystery photo from my last entry in a larger size, and thus leave a smart arsed comment about what it might be. Or not.

Posted by j at 9:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

In case anyone was wondering what C and I did in the extra hour yesterday (OK, so you probably weren't, but I'm blogging about it anyway), we went Geocaching again, dragging Ce with us again, although yesterday's hill was smaller than last week's, mainly because Ce refused to relive the torment of last week. Again, Harry was a very happy dog.

And did we find our cache? We did.

THIS TIME, I have made sure that the pictures are big enough so that no one complains, and so that the, er, items inside the box can be identified, if anyone cares enough to want to identify them. C was very, very excited* that we found a Travel Bug and declared that Geocaching is her "new favourite thing," adding that she is "easily pleased." Quite.

[* Secretly, I am excited too, but I am also a bit worried that we now temporarily have a Travel Bug in our kitchen, when it is meant to be, er, travelling. It's a bit like harbouring stolen goods or something like that - not that I'd know! - and I want to get rid of it as soon as possible ... which probably means we have to go up another hill.]

And that isn't all. We also found this:

Does any bright spark know what it is (no, not you, Ce or C!)? And before anyone asks, YES, WE DO KNOW WHAT IT IS! HAAA.

Posted by j at 1:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (15)

As you can see, nothing much can be seen at the moment. It's kind of eerie here, but at the same time, I'm reminded and amazed how one sky can be so many different colours over time.

(I might do some kind of themed collection in Flickr, when I get round to sorting out my Flickr account, that is...)

Happy day.

Posted by j at 10:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Anyone who thinks that the hills of West Yorkshire are boring should carry on reading this and hopefully change their mind in the end... not that I am trying to be a tourist information-type person, by the way (!)

On Saturday, we walked up Scout Rock (i.e. the hill in the photo at the top of this blog) and gasped in awe at the major views over Mytholmroyd, later gasping in shock and embarrassment when we realised that our new golden blinds could be seen shining er, goldly, in the sun from where we were, which was about 2 miles away..! Let's just hope they don't distract a pilot or something.

On the way down, we bumped into a couple of other walkers who were chuckling to themselves about the fact that a van had driven down the hill and got stuck after following its sat nav rather too religiously. It was now being pulled out, after spending the night there, so we hurried along to see the drama. It was weird to see; a tractor was pulling a recovery vehicle (!), which in turn was pulling the van, which was bobbing from side to side like a toy, closely followed by an annoyed-stroke-embarassed man and a small, excitable boy. I managed to get some photos without being shouted at:

Would you drive your van down there?!

Needless to say, the van was all beaten up and looked like it had been squeezed through a very small space (which it had) ... As we walked down and down the road-that-was-a-road-ages-ago, C and I were gobsmacked that it had managed to get that far! We also found this:

(a scraped rock)

(bits of van)

Oh dear. Sometimes it is hard not to laugh at other people's misfortune, even if you feel a bit mean doing so.

As if that wasn't enough excitement, on Sunday, we finally gave in to much nagging from A and went geocaching, dragging an amicable Ce along with us. Basically, geocaching is treasure hunting for geeks, where you drag yourself on longggggg, lonnnnnng walks up biiiiiiiiig, bigggggggg hills to look for tupperware boxes full of, er, crap, hidden in gaps in walls and things. And it's fun! Yes, really.

The first one we looked for could not be found, despite checking on our sat nav - ha! - and searching obsessively for ages and ages and ages.

We tried as hard as we could, but there was nothing to be seen, although poor Ce managed to scrape her forehead on a bit of rusty old barbed wire. Sigh. Disappointed, we walked along the top of the hill to see if we could find the 2nd cache, which we did, within about 30 seconds of arriving. Hooray!

And this is what was inside:

(a tea light and stuff)

Not to be outdone, when we got home, C emailed the man who had hidden the first cache that we couldn't find, to tell him that it had probably been stolen by someone for a laugh, or thrown down the hill or something like that, because it definitely wasn't there. The man emailed back to say he'd found 17 caches (hello?! 17?!) yesterday, thus making us feel really, really inadequate. He also helpfully explained exactly where it was, adding "Watch out for the barbed wire that will be above you when you bend down to look!" AAAAAAAAAAAAGH.

So now we have to go back. Hooray!

Posted by j at 2:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

And here's another one that I took yesterday...

... Yep, having problems putting my camera down these days. Not a bad thing!?

OK so it's Friday and I'm clearing my inbox, and thought I would stick bits of it on my blog... well, the funny bits, anyway, because people email me some really funny stuff. For example, E sent me a hilarious bunch of letters from kids to God - here's a couple of my favourites:

Indeed. Good point!

Whew, just as well then.

Also got some photos in an email from S, entitled "World's Best Grafiti...?" I don't think so, but found his one mildly funny:

And finally, here's the semi-traditional Flash game (not very vegetarian friendly, but I liked it!) Aren't I kind?

Right, now off to deal with non-blogworthy things in my inbox, i.e. work. Have a good weekend if you've read this far!

Posted by j at 12:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

You know how old ladies always invite each other round to their houses to have a cup of tea and see their new curtains? I never understood it. Until today.

BEHOLD! OUR NEW BLINDS!

No more getting blinded by the sun at 2pm every day when I am trying to work. And yes, I am using two computers at once. I am a nerd.

Posted by j at 1:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Getting up at 6am on Thursdays provides excellent photo opportunities, as you will see if you can see my new masthead above (if you can't, press SHIFT-REFRESH).

As with many photos, there is a story behind this one. It's slightly embarrassing, but I will explain anyway. As we haven't had a door on our bathroom for the whole time we've lived here (although we DO have a CURTAIN instead, OK!), it is possible to see out of the office window while sitting on the loo, if the office door is open, of course. And as luck would have it, that happens to be my favourite view of all; a view of the trees above the magnificent Scout Rock.

Today, everything changes. Today, we finally get a bathroom door.

While that is great news, all things considered, I am devastated to lose my view. So, in honour of Scout Rock and loo views, please stand back and admire my new masthead for a minute or two*.

I thank you, and good day!

* Please note; I didn't take the photo while sitting on the loo, just for the record!!

Posted by j at 10:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

People keep asking me for photos of our new house. Well, I'm sorry but you can't see any - not until we've unpacked and moved things and tidied up and it's fit for visitors, anyway! (And even then, I'm not sure if I want to blog photos of where we live... it's not as if this is Hello magazine or whatever!?)

Anyway, outside is looking very fine indeed, so here are some views - I hope they are as pleasing to you as they are to me!

View from the office window #1:

View from the office window #2:

... yes, it is like living in front of a giant 3D work of art that changes depending on the weather. Cool!

And here's a picture of one of the many neighbouring cats lining up ready to kill something in the field behind our house:

Back to work! Byee!

Posted by j at 2:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

The best caption for this photo of Harry's favourite 'disappointed' expression (not to be confused with the different-but-similar 'Princess Di' face he also loves pulling) wins a prize.

Captions in the comment box, please!

Posted by j at 1:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (16)

Anyone else see CSI last night? It was rubbish, possibly for the first time, with a totally unbelievable alien storyline. That is not to say I usually believe their unbelievable storylines - it's just that this one was like, "purlease!"

However, my dog is definitely an alien:

Many thanks for the comments on motorway driving - is there anyone out there who didn't jump on a motorway as soon as they'd passed their test, or drive hell for leather around scary spaghetti junctions?! I am impressed. But I don't like driving fast, and have absolutely zero desire to whiz down a motorway. Lucky I work from home, innit?!

Am I normal?! (I don't mind if not; would just like to know!)

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I know it's silly, and you'll probably have seen it before, but it's Friday! Hooray! The question is... did Philip fart?

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Please join me in a round of applause for C, who finished it at the weekend... I've only just got round to taking a photo of the evidence!

... Now we get our table back!

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... Because A is crazy, and because she wanted Harry to outdo Chuck. Well, we couldn't find a wig, but he does do gay very well, in my opinion...

Hey, Chuck, Chuck! See me in my tiara!

It's way better than your old lady Princess Leia wig.

AND I get paid in Doggy Choc Drops. Bet you don't!

Ahahahahaaaaaa.

(PS: Mona Lisa is still in pieces....)

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I bite. You have been warned!

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:-|

No, we have *not* bought Harry a wax jacket. We found it, honest! In a cottage we stayed in a while back. So of course we had to put it on him. We had to. It's in The Rules!

And tonight I found the evidence and couldn't let it go to waste...

*resumes p*ssing self*

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Herewith evidence of C's impressive vegetable growing skills and my (questionably) impressive insanity:

(And no, I don't usually keep vegetables in the office. I brought it up to take a photo of it with my webcam cos I was too lazy to get the digital camera out..!)

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What in god's name is this?!

C and I were rather alarmed to find it in our veg bag yesterday. Having never seen one before, we have decided to call it Alien Vegetable until we find out what it is, and, quite importantly, what to do with it. Any ideas? You know where the comment box is...

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The wonderfully random John Lennon Wall in Prague (guess who found an old camera card at the weekend!)...

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... and here's another angle...

... thanks to C for persuading me to put my shoes on and run round to the dock with the camera before the moment passed!

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FAQs:
Does he often sleep like that? Yes.
Does he know he's having his photo taken? Probably.

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The answer: There is no point.

In the very same way, there is no point in having a scanner if you don't use it to scan old photos like this one, that you find in an old box when you're having a clear out.

*runs faaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr away and hides*

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... So here you go:

More fab work by graffiti genius Banksy here!

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... And let this year be a better one than last year - although 2005 was not too bad, it wasn't too great in places either. And that is all I have to say on that matter! (Huge sigh of relief - shinyhappydeafie readers)

Have a good one!

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"NOW look what she made me do. At least this time I got 6 Doggy Choc Drops - j must have been feeling guilty!"

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No, I won't have my photo taken. You can't make me. I won't even look at you. Go away!

Look, if you don't get that camera out of my face, I'm gonna eat it, I'm telling ya.

WHASSAT NOISE? SOUNDS LIKE A TUBE OF GOOD BOY DOGGY CHOC DROPS BEING SHAKEN?
GIMME GIMME GIMME! NOW! I'M A GOOD BOY, I AM!

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