.... random rants and rambles. no agenda. yet.

Unravelling

2008-05-09T15:32:05Z

You know how when you're off on holiday, your brain slowly starts to shut down and then unravels as you realise you are going to have a break and not have to work hard or whatever, even though if you weren't going on holiday, you would probably be fine and bite your lip and get on with things as usual, with the typical British Upper Lip Thingy?

Maybe, maybe not.

Anyway, that's how I feel right now. The good part is that C just reminded me that this time tomorrow we'll be in France so I can unravel by the pool.

And no, I probably won't be blogging. If you're stuck for something do to (which you may well be if you're here reading this in the first place), have a look at my nerdish Project Tuesday, complete with "clever" comments from A, who is masquerading on Flickr as gretag, in case you hadn't guessed. It's probably easiest just to play the slideshow, but obviously it hasn't finished cooking yet because, well, it's May and not December.

Is it science? Is it art? Who knows. It's doing wonders for my patience.

So, byeeee! And don't worry. KR is doing next Tuesday's Project photo in my absence, as well as all Harry-related duties. KR and Ce rock!

Memorabilia

2008-05-06T17:39:41Z

No more wee, thank God.

And no, we didn't take all of the above home, in case anyone was wondering about the title of this post. I was more referring to the piles of randomly procured things in the kitchen and on the washing line that need to be Freecycled by us, but not yet because WE ARE GOING ON HOLIDAY SOON, so for now they're kind of temporarily classified as memorabilia.

Crazy? Yes. That's me. And C.

Bag ladies? Not yet. For now, just crazy cat ladies. OMG.

More mud sliding

2008-05-04T18:22:22Z

What would I say if you asked me if I'd spent all weekend traipsing around a field in the mud, voluntarily picking up rubbish and recycling other people's alcohol-related debris at a camping festival that I'm not even camping at, because they don't allow dogs, and also because we're kind of running a cat B&B at the moment (which is a whole other story for another day)?

I'd say yes. And I'd add that 10am is a particularly horrible time to have stale beer all over your hands.

Heh. It's actually fun, believe it or not, mostly because of the obvious environmental benefits, but also because it's quite a sociable job and C and I have both met loads of lovely people - and nagged them about recycling, of course.

It's also really disgusting. Who knew that baked bean flavour baby food could make so much mess? And also who DIDN'T know that sanitary towels can't be recycled?! Oh, and if the two men who peed drunkenly in the plastics bin outside the main marquee ever tell me it was them, they will live to regret it*. Nuff said!

The weirdest thing we've found so far has to be the pair of gentleman's suit shoes which were placed neatly at the bottom of one of the bins soon after the festival started. All very mysterious!

So. More mud and beer cans beckon tomorrow... just please, no more wee*.

* And yes, I know that was probably all Too Much Information, but, umm, how else am I meant to process such weirdness?

Not a day over 18.

2008-04-28T19:35:14Z

The scene: Our kitchen, just now. Doorbell rings.

C: There's someone at the door. [goes to front door, opens it]

Through the glass door, I can make out three people on the doorstep; one of whom is wearing a weird bib thing (think netball) with "NDCS" on it. I bid a hasty retreat to the back garden to throw breadcrumbs out for the birds. A minute later, C appears.

Me: I know who it is and I'm not doing it.

C: Oh, come on. Just meet them. I told them I have someone I'd like them to meet...

Me: I don't want to! You can't make me!

C: Oh come on.

Me: No!

C: GO!

I go into the hall, to find NDCS Bib Man stroking Harrythedog who is lying across the doorway, with two very smart looking women standing behind.

Bib Man: SaysomethingbutIhavenoideawhatblahblah.

Me: [pointing to bib] Can't you sign?

Bib Man: [going red] Er, no.

Me: Can you?

Woman 1: No.

Me: Can you?

Woman 2: Er, no.

Me: [voiced over by C] You work for the NDCS and you can't sign? Shame on you!

Bib Man: [redder] Well, I've only been working for them for three weeks.

Me: [voiced over by C] Oh, plenty of time to learn then!

Bib Man: Er, yeah. Um, have you had any services from the NDCS recently?

Me: [voiced over by C] Um, not lately. I'm 33!

Bib Man: No?!

Me: Oh yes.

C: I don't think there's much you can tell us about the NDCS that we don't know already.

Bib Man: Well. Bye then!

[they leave]

Me: And now they're going to tell our neighbours all about deaf children.

C: Well I hope they don't think it's because of you!

Me: Did he really not believe I'm 33?!

C: No!

Rubbish.

2008-04-25T17:27:50Z

Am I glad it's the weekend? Very glad. I'm especially glad because me and C spent a lot of last weekend Doing Things, and this weekend the only thing we're doing is going to see this play, which should be quite exciting, partly because I've never seen subtitled theatre before.

I digress. One of the things we Did last weekend was spend a lot of time skidding about in the mud picking up loads of rubbish that stupid people had thrown all over the nice countryside. No, we didn't lose our minds, we joined in our local Clean Up thingy, along with quite a lot of other people who agree that people who throw rubbish all over the countryside are stupid. Me and C were lucky enough (!) to get a whole patch of our own at the bottom of a slope, which looked like this when we started:

Well, actually, that's only about 20% of it all. And that bike was HEAVY, but kind of useful, as I used it as a kind of pick to jam into the ground and hang onto when I was skidding back up the slope again. No idea if that made sense, but it's what I did. Oh, and the speaker (the black box thing in the photo) was EXTRA HEAVY, and kind of fell apart on the way up the slope, taking me back down with it about 3 times.

Which brings me to ask: WHY go to all the bother of dragging a really, really heavy professional DJ's speaker along a countryside path and then pushing it down a slope, where it stays for a few years before some stupid person (i.e. me) comes along and almost breaks her leg dragging it back up and sticking it in a skip? Seriously... why?!

People are weird.

But that's not the weirdest thing we found... there were several bikes, a fridge, a mouldy old dartboard, a cooker, a sewing machine, millions of cans and crisp packets and God knows what else, all strewn across the countryside. And. That. Makes. Me. Mad.

Here's some of the evidence:

And when we had finished our patch, it looked like this:

I can't tell you how satisfying that was. Like I said, people are weird.

Much gingerness

2008-04-23T19:32:07Z

This evening, Brian decided to move in, for reasons known only to himself. He is showing no desire to leave. Kind of like a sit-in. And yes, Harrythecat looks furious. Mind you, Harrythecat's default expression is furious.

Oh dear.

The madness of ... footwear.

2008-04-17T12:58:27Z

I am just sorry that I missed this. What does it mean?!

Is it art? That is the question!

I'm sorry...

2008-04-16T20:55:54Z

... but HOW CUTE IS THIS?!

OMG. CUTE!!

Yessss, I've subbed to icanhascheezburger.com. And noooo, I wasn't interested in it until I became a Crazy Cat Lady In Training.

However! Lest anyone thinks I have gone all soft in my old age, I had better point out that THIS is my favourite one so far:

Quite amazing innit, the resemblance?

Tip of the day

2008-04-15T18:50:21Z

If you haven't tried purple sprouting broccoli, TRY SOME NOW, before it goes out of season.

I'd always eyed it with mild suspicion until recently, because, well, it looks kind of weird and isn't broccoli meant to be GREEN anyway?! But then we switched to the farmer's market rather than getting an organic veg box when we moved here, and the farmer always has tons of the stuff, so I have been brave and tried it and decided that I LOVE IT. Seriously, it's fantastic. And yes, you're meant to eat the leaves too, which means much less faffing about.

I can't quite believe I'm sitting here raving about how wonderful a vegetable is, but seemingly, I am. And I am very sad that it's going out of season soon.

So, do not let the humble purple sprouting broccoli remain ignored!

There's no going back.

2008-04-10T16:51:48Z

~~Tip~~ Warning of the day:

If you start using an extra monitor with your laptop while your PC is being fixed by the nice people down the hill, please be aware that you will never, ever like using one monitor again. In fact, a solitary screen will seem so inadequate that, in effect, you will feel like someone has sawn your entire desk in half for a laugh.

Then, when your PC comes back from the nice people down the hill, you will leave it in its box for over a week until you get round to buying a second monitor so that you can carry on with your new dual monitor ~~habit~~ obsession.

You have been told!

Sundayness

2008-04-06T16:45:14Z

It's snowing...

... and this weekend, C and I are way too knackered to do anything or go anywhere (that's what overtime does to you when you're our age!) so we decided to stay home and grow things.

OK, to be more exact, we've planted things rather than grown them, because that's the part you have to do first. So, yeah, our newly chitted seed potatoes are planted, but we had to keep bringing them in because of the snow, so we've kind of given up and they're in the utility room for now until it looks more like April again.

Along with the potatoes, we've planted tomatoes, sweetpeas and various other flowers, mushrooms, crystals and, er, an envelope. But it's no ordinary envelope - after all, how could A possibly consider giving me a birthday card in an ORDINARY envelope?! - it's a special Florelope made from sheep's poo and seeds (only in Wales!) and if we water it and everything, it'll turn into flowers! O-K-K-K-K.

Sooooooo... in the absence of any instructions, said envelope was optimistically ripped into several pieces:

... and then arranged as so:

... then covered in compost.

Now this is the part where we cross our fingers and hope for the best, at the same time as feeling slightly suspicious that this is all a con and well, who plants envelopes?! Er, us.

A's Dad, ever the cynic, thinks they'll come up as dandelions, but I'm secretly hoping for something like the ones on our kitchen table at the moment:

Who knows?

A snapshot

2008-04-04T12:08:32Z

The Dog, being the territorial creature he is, defended The Office doorway stubbornly. No was was he going to let The Cat in. In fact, The Cat could disappear forevermore, for all he cared; such an annoying animal it was. And anyway, The Dog felt strongly that The Office was his, because The People in it were to be defended at all times, including from The Cat.

Especially The Cat.

So there he stood, guarding the doorway to The Office and its inhabitants, growling softly. And there he stayed, until one of The People told him to stop being a horrible bully and leave The Cat alone.

And The Cat celebrated - as usual - by stalking annoyingly past The Dog and settling down for another day on The Dog's bed.

The Dog gave up. Again.

The mystery is solved(!)

2008-03-29T20:03:07Z

Remember this?

I blogged about it ages ago, and everyone wondered what it was. It turns out that two people were correct; it was both a "doorstop" (according to S) and a "thing to stop doors slamming on fingers" (according to iks).

And I know this how? Because I found evidence the other day, which doubled as evidence that having a camera on your new mobile phone is actually useful sometimes:

The bad news? I've lost it, so cannot stop my doors slamming on my fingers. Oh, never mind.

More cat laughs

2008-03-25T12:29:37Z

Remember this? If you liked it, you'll love this...

... this time around, I could actually relate to it, which was kind of weird but just made it funnier. Thanks for emailing it, A!

Weird.

2008-03-19T16:46:44Z

Spotted in the Calder countryside this afternoon...

I think someone got something wrong somewhere?!