.... random rants and rambles. no agenda. yet.

Bizarrely, C has broken up two fights in two weeks. We are all amazed!

The first fight was in a household shop called Wilkinsons, when C and K were innocently shopping (as usual!). They were looking at shampoo and things, when they suddenly saw two women - both with prams, shamefully - screaming rude things at each other. Then one woman punched the other one, grabbed her and threw her down on the floor and beat the hell out of her... C jumped in and separated them, and then held the craziest one back while K shouted in her face to calm down eh... a crowd formed and the babies wailed. Then 'security' arrived(!) C and K carried on shopping.

The second fight was last night. We were walking down our street with Harry, when the fastest blur in the world ran across our path and dived at Harry. Shocked, I saw that the blur was a dog, and a strange one at that... a cross between a Bull Terrier and a Border Collie (the result was a shaggy, chunky wee dog with a massive face)! So, we will call this dog BorderBull (BB).

BB and Harry started to fight, running round and round in circles on a random person's garden, with me, C and BB's owner frantically trying to get them to a) stop it pleaaaseeeeeeee and b) calm down. Well, that didn't work. Still fighting, the dogs moved into the middle of the road, causing a mini traffic jam, and just for good measure, BB's adopted brother (a HUGE brown dog about twice the size of BB and Harry put together) sat and watched, and barked crazily in a deep doggy voice.

Then the worst thing happened. Somehow, BB managed to bite Harry's ear, and clamped down hard. Poor Harry! They ran round in circles again, with BB's jaws firmly locked on Harry's ear, and the three of us nearing hysteria:

"STOP IT! Oh my GOD, STOP NOW"
"Harry!"
"BB!"
"Yowllllllllllllllllllllllll"
"Oh GOD!"
"Woof woof WOOF"
"Stop! Agh!"
"Harry!"
"BB!"
"WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!"
.... etc. You get the picture.

Just when it seemed it would never end, and BB would bite Harry's ear off and have it for dinner, C The Hero PUT HER FINGER IN BB'S MOUTH and rubbed his lip hard against his teeth to make him let go. It worked! Thank God! Hallejuliah, etc.

(Tip of the day for dog owners: If your dog won't drop something, it is a good idea to rub their lips against their teeth. They hate it. It is, however, risky, especially if the dog in question is crazy.)

BB's owner, bless her, would not stop crying, no matter how many times we said "He's OK, don't worry" or patted her arm. Blimey. He IS ok, apart from a small hole on his neck, and he is loving the attention and all the treats!

C is available for weddings, christenings, nightclubs and anywhere else that may need a security guard.